Hello! I've been lurking here for a while but finally decided to register myself. I'm an eighteen-year-old girl and I'm very confused about my sexuality. I've been pondering this for the last 3 years at least but I remember always being scared of being a lesbian so maybe I always saw the possibility. I'm not 'scared' anymore and I've come to accept whatever my sexuality is. Having said that, I'm still not ready to talk about it with others except for here anonymously. I've had a crush on this girl I know for about 3-4 years. First it started off with me having this kind of admiration towards her. She has always been very popular among guys and I've always seen her as a very pretty girl. I wanted to be her. As time went by the crush started to get deeper. I noticed having butterflies in my stomach and my heart skipped a beat when I was around her. I was emotionally very attached and kept over-analyzing every moment and word we shared. Then last year I found myself daydreaming about kissing her. I never thought of anything more, though. I didn't see her for about 6 months and felt like I got over her. Now when I just recently saw her again, I was able to see all the qualities that I dislike in her and I'm not that into her anymore. But I still get very nervous around her. For about 2 years she has been playing me (or so I believe) because she most definitely has sensed the crush I have had on her. However I got this new crush on another girl in the end of last year. She doesn't fit the regular conception of beauty but I find her very attractive and I like her personality. I'm also sexually attracted to her. I haven't seen her since school ended but I still think about her albeit not so much. Now I have a huge crush on this guy at work that is really sweet and he's like one of the most gorgeous guys I've ever seen. He has a girlfriend, though. He is very friendly and likes to crack jokes with me. I seldom have a guy being that nice to me. I've only had a few shifts with him and I'm already melting. I do think about him and I find him physically and sexually very attractive. Still I don't get the same butterflies with him, nor with any other guys so far, as I do with these two girls that I've had crushes on. But I'd say that the sexual attraction is stronger, though. I'd say that overall all my little crushes towards guys aren't so emotionally passionate but I always get the crushes on the most attractive and very nice guys so I'm physically attracted to them. I don't really get little crushes on girls. So I guess I have crushes on guys easier but whenever I get a crush on a girl it's more intense in the emotional aspect. All in all, I don't get crushes very easily. What comes to physical attraction, I look at both, girls and boys, a lot. In girls I really like beautiful faces and it's almost embarrassing how long I stare at girls with the particular quality. I can see beauty in very different people and I can name something beautiful in everyone. But I do find myself checking out girls' asses too. I'm not that much of a boob girl, though lol. In a guy it's more about the body as a whole. I can see myself dating both genders. I like the thought of being 'taken care of' by a man but with a girl I think I'd be in the dominant role. In men I like masculine men and in women I like feminine women, but not too high-maintenance, more like girls like myself, that take good care of their appearance but don't have a problem with wearing sweatpants and watching a hockey match or something. I've never been in a relationship with anyone and I'm a virgin. And I might add that I'm a very keen fan of certain lesbian couples on TV. Never have had that kind of enthusiasm towards straight couples. Also my top celebrity crushes are both women... Sorry that this ended up being so long. I just needed to vent. I know I shouldn't care about labels and all that stuff but what do you think I am? Thank you in advance!
If you're attracted to both guys and girls, you're probably bi. Bi-people, as I see it (and this applies to me), just might happen to find any particular person very attractive, while gay people find any person of their gender attractive, and likewise for straight people. Although, really, there's no reason to attach a label to yourself - you are who you are, and that's it.
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I'm interested in guys and like to talk with them and be around them; with girls I always end up more emotionally attached as well. I would say you're Bisexual, or at least Bi-curious. I too am only attracted to very few people, I've never had a real relationship with anyone, but I have had a few flings with some boys-It's hard to get to know them for me. I know for sure I like girls-I'm also guilty of checking out girls asses in the locker room! I completely agree with Dasazn(post before me). There's no need to label yourself! But I also see the comfort in the label, of knowing what to call yourself. I'd be more than happy to talk with you! PLEASE feel totally welcome to inbox me,I'd love to help if I can!!
I cant speak for straight people as I am gay but I can assure you I do not find all girls attractive. I would however agree that from your post it sounds like your bisexual, although dont worry too much about labels. You might find that the more you accept your sexuality your sexual attraction to girls increases as you almost allow yourself and tell yourself its ok. Or it might always stay the same. From what I have heard from other bisexual people on the forum they often say that their attraction fluctuates sometimes they are more into girls and sometimes guys so you might find that as well.
My bad; I meant that the people that gays happen find attractive are of their gender. Likewise, the people that straights find attractive are of the other gender. For bisexuals, the person could be male or female.
