Hello, I'm once again questioning my sexuality. For awhile ,I've identified as bi because I figured it fit me. I'm attracted to men, women, and enby folks too. I thought I'd see myself with a girl, but I just want to eventually end up with somebody I can trust, has a great personality, ands somebody whom I can have long and sometimes deep conversations with. Yeah, I'm wondering if I'm bisexual or pansexual or maybe something in-between. I'm just curious. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ushiromiya Red.....Sometimes a label can cause more problems than it solves. For me, being able to call myself gay was a big deal. For many years I had never felt I belonged anywhere. When I finally accepted that I am and always have been gay, that label gave me a "home", a place that I fit with others that were like me. It was really important to me. Some people don't want a label at all...they feel like it "restricts" them and doesn't let them actually be who they really are. There are also people in the middle sort of. They feel like a label can sometimes help them feel "connected" when they otherwise feel a bit lost. But there are also times when they feel that a label doesn't really describe who they are. So if a label is causing you distress right now, maybe you should consider just not worrying about for a while? That might take the pressure off and who knows...something might just pop into your mind and solve it all at once!! .....David
So I identify as both bisexual and pansexual. The label bisexual connects me to the bi community, its activism, and its history as someone attracted to both my gender and other genders. The label pansexual is more specific to how I feel as someone who doesn't find my attraction to be gendered or to have preferences. There's plenty of people who fit into my experiences who might just use bisexual, who might just use pansexual or who might use both or neither. The thing is about bisexual/pansexual is they overlap so heavily that what someone calls themselves is more a matter of what feels right or what they want to emphasise to others (lack of gendered attraction, community ties, interest in activism, flag preference, etc). So just go with what feels right!
Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. It means a lot to me. I feel comfortable with both labels as I have always felt myself to be in the middle of pan and bi and I fluctuate between them. But in the end, labels don't matter too. Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice, it really helps me feel better.
Honestly, everyone above already nailed it. But in case this helps, here's a question - does the label serve as a means to a greater end - like becoming a healthier, more prosperous person ? Or is the label an end * in itself * - sort of like a fetish, or a barricade ?
I'll basically echo what others have said: labels are intensely personal things. Yeah, words have specific meanings, but bi and pan have a lot of overlap between them (considering they are essentially the same; it merely comes down to preference and how someone experiences their sexuality). I'm glad you've found the help you needed, but if you ever find yourself struggling again, just know that whichever label you choose--or if you choose not to use one at all--it's all good. Labels are just a means of communicating to others certain aspects of ourselves in ways that allow them to understand, maybe even connect with us. The label itself isn't important so much as the sense of community it engenders.
