This happened back during Thanksgiving. My nephew and his wife are very supportive of me. I basically grew up with my nephew as a brother. I am 10 years older than him. I watched him during Summertime and lived with my brother for a while so I would see him when my brother got his visitation. So, we are pretty close. He had children very early on in life (he was 14 his wife was 13). They have 4 now. The oldest one is going on 10 this year. He is a pretty immature child and I'm sure you can guess why. What bugged me is during Thanksgiving he came up to me and called me a homo and gay in a very mean way out of the blue. I figured he heard those "terms" at school (because he didn't know about my sexuality). I didn't worry about it too much because I live in the south and those words are tossed around like wildfire. Later that day I got a phone call from my nephew and a text from my niece in law. My nephew heard what his son had said and was really upset at him and was apologizing to me. As it turns out, they had told my great nephew and didn't let me know they had told him. They put him on the phone with me and he was crying and apologized and was upset because he didn't think I would like or love him anymore. After assuring him that wasn't the case I about went off on my nephew. I was upset because there was no reason to let him know. I don't have a boyfriend, I feel like my great nephew is too young to worry about that, I'm not even sure he understands what it really means, and I really feel like I should have been let in on that conversation or at least asked since it is such a touchy subject around here. I feel so fortunate and blessed that my nephew is so extremely supportive, but I feel like this was the wrong way to go about this. I would have liked to have waited until he was a little older. He hasn't even gone through puberty himself. I would have liked my nephew to keep the "air" in the house a positive as possible for lgbtq+ but he also isn't my child. I have a feeling he might forget about it.. I'm just not sure how to handle this situation or how to talk to my nephew about it. I have a lot of great nieces and nephews and I never thought I would come out so I didn't figure I would ever have to "explain" sexuality. I'm not sure how to handle this... situation.
Outing someone is wrong. Given that you have every right to be upset with your nephew. That said though, I believe that your nephew was in fact trying to "keep the "air" in the house a positive as possible for lgbtq+" as you said but that he went about it in the wrong way. I doubt that he intended to hurt you or cause you harm despite that being what did happen. I do not believe that anyone is too young to learn that two men or two women can be in an intimate relationship (not just physically). The sooner society erases heteronormative assumptions the better off we all will be. At 10 I also believe that he is not too young to understand/learn what sex is. I taught my children and let them read Grey's Anatomy as early as 3.
I agree with QuietPeace. If you're selectively out, they should've consulted you first. So, you can be angry and upset, but also be understanding that they didn't realize that what they did was wrong, and obviously won't do it again. People are afraid of things that are different from them. If a kid is taught that homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality, he'll he may never view it as a negative trait (though bad influences you or your nephew has no control over in the school may try to teach otherwise). So, I'd use this opportunity to show how being gay is normal and ok.
