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My sexuality has become my identity... Please advise...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ke1, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. Ke1

    Ke1
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    India
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    About 10 months back i decided 2 come out to a few people in collg but it went wrong and word got around and now every1 knows im d gay guy. ppl really do respect me 4 coming out and being open about my sexuality but dat is all i am associated with!!! Dey expect me 2 b al in their face abt it and 4 sum reason i give them that satisfaction and be an obnoxious bitch about it! den suddenly 1 day i realised i wz talkin 2 a friend's friend 4 d 1st tym n i scared her off n i regret it... :bang:
    Trying 2 be proud about my sexuality i'v lost my identity and i now come off as obnoxious and hypersexual... my sexuality is no more a part of me but it has become me entirely.. being around al these ppl in collg even i'v started seeing myself as just a guy with an alternate sexuality... My sexuality overshadows everything else now and im regretting coming out... :tears: i love being gay but i wanna be more than just that! i wanna b known 4 stuff other than my sexuality! i dont wanna come off as obnoxious and hypersexual anymore... :help:
     
  2. Brandon

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A person's body language can tell a lot of things to people who are wanting to get to know you. For me, I never let my sexuality rule me, I was who I am. I tried to be myself, I never showed it in College and a lot of people were surprised when I told them I was gay because they never at all would of guess I was because I was so quiet and I didn't look gay from what this one girl told me several years ago in college.

    If you can see the signs that you are being obnoxious or hyper-sexual then try to tone it down. Try making people see that you're more than just gay, if they can't see that you're more than just gay then they are probably not worth having as friends. I am sure that you have other traits or positive things about you that don't involve you being gay. If you see yourself as a bitch, and you show that to other people then they will only see you as that and nothing else.
     
  3. Farouche

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I can't offer much help here, but I can definitely offer sympathy. When I came out as genderqueer, lots of people needed me to explain what genderqueer meant, so I was talking about it all the time, and reminding people about pronouns... and for a while it really ruled my life.
    Now that most people in my life know, it's getting better because I don't have to bring up the subject, I can just let them ask questions when they want to.
    I think you can be proud of your sexuality without letting it rule your life. If you've realized that that's what you want, you're already halfway there.
     
  4. Jim1454

    Full Member

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    If you don't want to be obnoxious and hypersexual... don't be obnoxious and hypersexual!

    Maybe easier said than done, but that's what you're going to have to focus on. Make it a point to tone it down - way down if necessary - and express yourself in other ways and on other topics.

    The idea that 'not coming out' would have been an better alternative I don't think is valid. You're better off for being honest and open about yourself. And besides, you can't take it back now anyway. So think about how you want to present yourself to others, even practice in front of a mirror, and then do just that.