My names Andrew, I’m currently using he/they pronouns to a few people, yet still using my biological female set. I don’t like being called a she but I have to. My family is really unsupportive of all lgbtq. I hate my body and I want to cut my hair, be more “manly” yet my parents are strict and I’m scared to tell them my identity. Even worse, my parents make me wear “cringy girly stuff” which isn’t helping my mental state with this whole deal. I’m also scared because my parents already hate me enough, my bond with one of my brothers is pretty good, my grandparents have a good bond with me but I don’t want them all to hate me! I’m scared to say what I am and wanna be. Anybody got advice?
I know the feeling. I am the same. If you ever want to talk, then the EC is here for you. Keep your head high up and stay safe. Don't come out if it's unsafe and only do it if you can support yourself financially and be independent. I hope it will get better someday.
What is your age because if you're old enough I think it would help your mental state to start a plan of what to do. You can't force people to change but I think it would be better to distance yourself from anyone who is a detriment to your wellbeing. Would it be out of the question to look into the feasibility and practicality of living with your grandparents?
I'm terribly sorry you're going through this, you're definitely not alone. I say just try not to bring up anything about your orientation or pronouns again until you're in a situation where you feel safe to do so. For example, you can wait until you're moved out. If your family does end up disowning you, at least you wouldn't end up homeless (similar to what Rayland said). Since your family already knows these about you, all I can say is hopefully they eventually come around and accept you.
Hello, Andrew. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sure your parents don't really hate you--but it does sound like they're very strict, and maybe afraid of you being anything other than their daughter. Have they always forced ultra feminine clothing on you, or has this been a more recent development? Your bio says you're 17, is that correct? If so, you're more than old enough to determine what kinds of clothing you wear and how you want your hair styled. Bodily autonomy is so important, regardless of whether someone is a minor or grown. They may not like it, but whether you cut your hair or wear more masculine clothing is not up to your parents. There are some things they can control (like not allowing certain medical procedures to occur until you're of age), but on these two matters, they really shouldn't have any control. Are your parents abusive at all? Physically, mentally/emotionally? If they're prone to name-calling, insulting, hitting, or anything of the sort, it might be a good idea to start looking into alternative living spaces--youth shelters, a trusted friend's place, or even a family member you can trust. You could also try reaching out support centres in your area.
Andrew.....I'd like to give you a great big LGBTQIA+ Welcome to Empty Closets! I usually do this when new members make their first post in the Welcome Lounge Forum, but you slipped past me and I only just caught up with you! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help so many years ago. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on Empty Closets and hope that we can answer questions, give support if you need it and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join into the conversations or start your own thread/conversation.In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Gender Identity and Expression" there are a lot of people there who will understand what you are dealing with. When you have made at least 10 posts on active threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members. Right now you can send a PM to any Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can post a question on my Profile Page or send me a Private Message. .....David
