Hello, Iv had this crush on someone online for some time and we have spoken the odd time on different dating apps. He messaged me but always takes ages to respond. Now that’s fine as not everyone is on these apps all the time however I notice that he signs in often and doesn’t reply. So after 2 weeks from one of my messages, he replies to me saying sorry for the delay and asked if I wanted to go for a drink some time as he wasn’t good at replying on the app. I said yes and gave when I was free and asked when he was free. He hasn’t responded since and this is almost a week now. So why ask if I want to go for a drink and then not reply? Im not the sort to keep messaging him for a response because I believe if he was interested then he would have replied much sooner. Its frustrating as I have had a crush on him for ages. Iv never met him in person but maybe this is a sign that he is bad news? Not sure how to deal with this and would be grateful for any advice. I got so excited when he messaged first but now I just feel crap about it.
Hey. So I've gone through a similar situation this year, although not exactly the same as yours. I'm dealing with a guy who clearly isn't interested, never messages first and is often dismissive, but then when I've tried to confront him or say goodbye he makes excuses and says he loves chatting to me. So I sort of know what it's like in a way to deal with someone who's hot and cold. All I would say, is there's 24 hours in a day. If he was prioritising you as much as you're prioritising him, you'd know about it. Busy or not, there's no excuse for his behaviour, basically. You don't have to let go. But I'd start searching elsewhere too, because he doesn't sound reliable at all to me.
Much like Cinnamoon said, you don't have to give up on him entirely--but nor should you feel obligated to keep holding a candle for someone who doesn't reply to you in a reasonable amount of time. I understand if it took him maybe an hour or two to get back to you after asking you out for drinks (work, errands, etc.) but a week seems...a bit excessive, given he asked you first. I won't pretend to know what he's thinking or what his reasons for delayed responses might be; all I can say is justified or not, it's unfair to you. If you want, give him one more chance--another message as a sort of "hello? Did you look at this and forget to reply?" should be okay; people look at messages when they're busy and forget to reply when they're not all the time. But if you still don't get anything from him after that? I'd say it's time to let him go and see what else is out there.
jacko.....I always try to greet new members here on Empty Closets...but somehow I have missed you! So hello and and a great big LGBTQ welcome to Empty Closets! I don't think that you have to wait forever for the guy that you have been texting to answer. However, it probably wouldn't hurt to send at least one more text and say that you are interested but that if he doesn't reply then you'll assume that he isn't interested. That would hopefully get a reply from him if he really is interested. The danger here is that if he has a serious habit of procrastination you have to ask yourself if that is something that you can handle. .....David
Thanks for the advice all. Iv decided to leave him be as he doesn’t seem very reliable. Also, still no reply from him lol. it’s just a crush I need to get over I think. Thanks again for the advice. It always helps to talk about these things.
