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Lost My Job

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by DragonChaser, Jun 4, 2022.

  1. DragonChaser

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    I'm making this thread as part of a way to cope with this. The events were not logical, not rational, I did not behave reasonably, nor was I treated reasonably, and when reason came back to me it was too late.

    At the root, I argued with someone I had forgotten was a manager. I yelled at him, actually, in front of everyone. I know, great way to get fired, right? I'd say I wasn't in my right mind, but you could probably guess that.

    The nuts and bolts of the hows and whys are numerous and I don't have the facility right now to list them all. I do know what I did was wrong, and I was prepared to tender apology and attempt redemption, yet that is irrelevant to the reality. So is the fact that it feels unfair, but I understand it in many ways.

    I may, possibly, have a job with the other restaurant I was working for, but it's owned by the same people. I may also have an in at another place in town, down the road from where I used to work, but that offer was made some time ago.

    Truthfully, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I just got my car, but it still needs work and I still owe on repairs, I haven't paid for this upcoming week of my hotel room - which is the only way I, as a homeless person, stay off the streets - and I don't have any more money or much food.

    I don't have the energy for much today. I got blind stinking last night, for obvious reasons, and I'm hungover and too wired to get any more sleep. I'm starving, too, but that's something I've kind of gotten used to. I'm fat anyway, so it's not like I'm about to starve to death anytime soon.

    Tomorrow, I have to find a job. In this regard, fortune favors me; there are many fast food places nearby, some recently opened, all looking for help. There are also a few large stores adjacent. I can't do a clean drop, but one of them won't care.

    I could use any comfort or advice you might have. I really am at a loss right now, beyond what I've said. I feel the full spectrum of negativity; fear, anger, sorrow, each nearest to their greatest extremes as I can stomach and some past.

    Either way, thank you for listening. It helps to know there are others out there who believe in and support me, and I'm grateful to be part of this community every day. If nothing else, wish me luck.
     
  2. Cinnamoon

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    Hey, I'm so sorry to read this. I'm not the most knowledgeable on many situations but I wanted to say something at least.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this though. Since I've been here, whether through directly interacting with you or by catching your general posts on the forum, I've thought that you come across as an extremely intelligent, kind and caring person. I don't know you very well but I know you're worth a lot, for those reasons and more.

    It's good to hear there's a high chance of you being able to get a new job. I'm really sorry you had to go through this with your manager though, you say you've made a mistake but we can't all act logically or rationally all the time, far from it, so I wish they'd been more understanding of you in that situation.

    This might be useless advice but if you said something about your financial and personal situation to a manager at your hotel, do you think they would be understanding? If not, are there any other hotels or shelters you could temporarily stay at nearby?

    It's hard if the manager didn't treat you reasonably either. If an employee is unreasonable to a reasonable manager, perhaps there is the possibility of some negotiation there. I'm sorry this doesn't seem to be the case. I know you say the place you got your other offer from is owned by the same people though, but if that specific manager is not there maybe you could still enquire about your offer?

    I'm not sure if any of that was useful, but I do wish you good luck. Please keep posting.
     
    #2 Cinnamoon, Jun 4, 2022
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  3. DragonChaser

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    That was very helpful, dear, thank you! It's wonderful to hear that you're making an impression on people you care about and that they see value in you! It makes me feel better in a lot of ways, even if the cloud still hangs over my head.

    I worked for a period of months at two different restaurants owned by the same company. I left the second, because it was getting to be too hard on me to keep both down, but I was never formally removed as an employee. It's not the same local managers, but it's the same management, and they don't want me around anymore.

    It's probably the owner himself who wants me out. I've not been shy about how much I hate his rotten guts. He'd probably been looking for a reason for a while, if he caught wind of it. Now... well, here we are.

    Again, I take responsibility for my blame in this. I failed in a lot of ways over a long period. But I still delivered, even when I was falling apart. I guess I just became more trouble than I was worth.
     
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  4. Cinnamoon

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    You say you still delivered even when you were struggling though, which shows a lot of resilience. Other places with more reasonable owners will be lucky to have you. A lot of places, especially nowadays, should understand that people have personal struggles, and it's their attitude in trying to deal with that which counts. Even though you're having a hard time you still keep trying and that's the most important thing.
     
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  5. TinyWerewolf

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    Well you know I love you like a sister, I won't just let you collapse if I can help it. I'm glad to hear you know you have options though. I have more to write and will soon, but for now I need to get a few things done.
     
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  6. chicodeoro

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    Hey Lydia, I'm so sorry to hear this.

    I don't have any advice, just sympathy. I've been there. I've lost count of the number of times I've been sacked from shitty jobs. I even got sacked once from a job before I started it - for walking in with un-ironed trousers (thought that would make you laugh).

    So...yes let it all out, vent, cry and then begin again, begin again. Get back on the horse quickly and don't get sucked into a downward spiral.

    One day you will look back and laugh at all the shitty jobs you once did that you were massively overqualified for. I know that doesn't help you in the here and now, but you will.

    And know that we're all cheering you on here.

    Stay strong, my sister.

    Big big hugs, Beth xx
     
    #6 chicodeoro, Jun 4, 2022
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2022
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  7. DragonChaser

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    You're all so sweet to offer me your words of kindness and support!

    @Cinnamoon, I like to think I've got a good grip on things, but I'm very mentally disturbed. I work through it, though. That's what they didn't understand. For all that came spilling out, it was a leak in the dike. The crushing weight of the force behind it, the one I held back, they'll never knew. But you're also right, this won't be the end of me. I've faced down worse. It's just not shit I needed right now.

    @TinyWerewolf, Jack, you're my favorite person here. I don't mean to make anyone else feel lesser, but you know you are. You're my little brother, I love you, and I'm bonded to you. We've spoken privately, we will again, but I appreciate you speaking up here anyway. You're the best lil bro a girl could ask for, and I'm here for you, always.

    @chicodeoro, honey, you may be the one who gave me the most calming perspective; this was a shitty job and I got canned more because the company sucks than my conduct. My conduct was shitty, but I was pushed to that point by maltreatment and dishonesty from the top. Even if capitalism thinks I'm shit, I won't surrender the notion that I gave anything but exactly what I had to give.

    I love you all, and I will use your words to carry on, I promise. This can't and won't be the thing that kills me. Or so I hope...
     
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  8. TinyWerewolf

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    I'm speaking up because you mean a lot to me- I've been a bit of a hermit as of late (such is my usual temperament, especially with my current headspace though) but I won't just sit idly by when you're in pain. I can't watch you suffer like this and not try to help, that's true for me towards a lot of people here- but especially so my big sister! I love you, Lydia- I wish I could do more to help.

    I would've responded again sooner but I had my sister's dogs, my family being in my vicinity, and avoiding a skunk to deal with.

    I'm privately sending you some things to look into in your area. Please consider them.
     
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  9. Mirko

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    Hi there! I'm sorry that this happened to you. Situations happen and we sometimes react in ways we wish we would not have, in hindsight. It sounds like you have realised the mistake, which is good as it will give you a chance to reflect on what triggered in how you approached the manager.

    Keep in mind that managers are human beings too, with their good, not so good and bad days. And yes, sometimes some managers will say or do things they shouldn't be saying or doing. Not saying that what the manager said or did was right or acceptable, at the end of the day though how you react and respond is something under your control. If a manager says or does something you disagree with or where you feel being treated unfairly as a result, and as hard as it might be, try to take a step back before responding.

    Taking a step back and a break before reaponding might allow you to assess the situation better and think about a response that leaves you with a feeling you have raised your concerns in a respectful manner and also leaves the relationship in tact.

    It's good that you might have another job lined up. I would encourage you to continue working on your well being while also thinking about how you approach conflict in the workplace. You are working in an environment that can be quite stressful. As you know, the stress can add to anything that is going on for you already so having some good stress and conflict management skills would be important.

    If you are short on money or can't afford to buy food at the moment, try to see if there is a food bank nearby, or a place where you could get a meal. Not eating or not getting enough nutrition in you can also have an effect on you in more than one way.

    Once you have a new job, maybe take some time to look at things that could help you to reduce your stress levels, improve your overall well being. Sometimes it can help to think in terms of stepping stones.

    You will be fine and will be able to turn things around.
     
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