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Looking for advice.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by PhilipElep, Sep 21, 2020.

  1. PhilipElep

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2020
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hello,

    I'm completely new member here and I'm a bit scared. I have a few questions and I hope I might find some answers here. I'm just gonna write my story and hope I won't mess it up or insult anyone, that is the last thing I want to do.

    Let me begin by saying that I always lived my life as heterosexual male, and as I grew older I noticed, that most of my fantazies were about being really submissive. I was always wondering about older women, but few years ago I got into relationship with girl same age. We broke up about month ago, because I wasn't "attracted to her" for a long time and I refused sex. To be honest the sex life was always a problem - I was never that interested in having sex with her. I would pretend to fall asleep or go out drinking just to have an excuse for not being home with her. It was a disaster in the end and we broke up. I told her about the dominance thing, but nothing came of it. Before her, most of my experinces with woman were not so great either - I would blame it on booze.
    After we broke up I was listening to some podcasts and youtube videos about this topic and I always get the feeling of attraction or arousal when listening or wondering about someone very dominant or "overly" sexual. I wondered about trans woman and played the scenario in my head and kinda liked it. Now, I really don't know what to make of this. My sexual life so far was very unsatisfying. I was wondering if someone had similar experience or any advice. How do I know what is real? I feel pretty bad now since I'm in my late 20'

    I know this isn't really much. It is the best I could write right now and I hope I didn't say anything bad.
    Thank you for any advice.