So as the title states, im lonely. I have friends, but as i live 30 minutes from my private school, and the all live nearby i hardly ever get to hang out with them. Even when we do hang out, i have to coordinate everything and it is a giant pain in the butt. The one friend i have that is nearby is my neighbor, but as she's two years older, goes to the public school and is a soccer player we hardly ever hang out anymore. My other friends all live in Massachusetts (where i used to live/ where my dad lives) and we only see each other a few times a year. I don't have a cell phone so i can't call/text anybody, so my primary contact methods are instagram and Skype, with a small amount of Facebook as well. Even when i message people they don't respond for hours on end or respond and start a conversation, and then just don't reply. It gets really annoying really fast. That just about covers my friendship problems. In relationship terms, i have nothing. I am one of two gay kids at my school, and the other is a senior and not even somewhat my type. When i was in middle school (5th-8th) grade i was a player and had like 8 different girlfriends,but once i stopped dating girls, and came out (sortve, only friends know) that just disappeared and ive been single since. The one guy ive ever been with was my best friend and after doing stuff with me told me he was straight, thus breaking my heart. Ive been developing more crushes and the like since, and just desire someone to be with. I'm not looking for sex, i just want someone to hold hands with and kiss and cuddle and be loved by, ya know? Sometimes i just get so depressed and i feel like no one really cares about me, they just keep me around as the token gay and would dump me if anything went wrong. This loneliness is killing me, and my mom thinks i should see a therapist, and that im depressed. Im not sure about therapy, I've tried it before and im not a big fan, and i don't want to be put on antidepressants because everyone ive met on them seem even more depressed. My mom thinks its stress and hormones and loneliness, and i need help. But doesn't everyone feel this way sometimes? I feel like just having more people to be with and be comfortable with, and maybe a boyfriend would help, but im not sure, would it? :help:
if you are 15 years old, you're still so young for being so sad. If your mother is supporting you to go to a therapy go for it. It would be the best for you right now. Don't feel lonely, at your age it's totally normal feeling alone around so many people but you're not alone, trust me Just think about it, think about how lucky you're for having a mother, for having some friends, and even for learning about how bad people could be from your experience with "straight" friend. But, really you're so young. Just find a hobby, maybe painting, surfing, or whatever you like
Try talking to a mental health counselor, but also realize your loneliness won't last forever. It can be hard as a teen even now. When I was in high school, I had crushes but no one was fully out, even though we lived in a suburb with nothing like violent homophobia. I agree that you should try to find a hobby. That helps to channel your loneliness into something productive. You could even join some school clubs. If your school has a Key club or other community service club, that's a great way to make platonic friends.
