I (F) have come out to my family and friends I'm gay. Most people except for I'd say my 2 closest friends think I only like girls. However, I've been questioning for a long time whether I like guys too. Sometimes I like the idea of dating a guy. Like if I watch something and I really like the boyfriend, I think it would be really nice to have that. But at the same time, the thought scares me. I've never been with a guy before. I've never even really had a close guy friend. I just feel weird around them I don't know why. Also, I've never actually liked a guy that seriously before. I've liked girls, but not guys. Maybe that's just because I connect with girls more because that's who I talk to. Or maybe I am just a victim of compulsory heterosexuality. I really don't know. I don't know if I should try dating guys or not. Say I do get a boyfriend one day, the thought of telling everyone scares me. I already came out as one thing, so to come out as another is scary. It's like coming out twice. I know logically this doesn't really make sense because everyone accepts me as gay, but it still feels weird. I just think this is an ironic and unique situation to be in. I don't know if many people relate. Usually people are scared to admit the gay part, not the straight part, for lack of better terms. I don't know what there is to advise-I kind of just wanted to rant. Thanks for reading.
Sometimes it’s good to just get it out and at times things become clearer when you put it out there. There’s no harm in you going on dates with guys to see how things feel? You don’t have to put a label on yourself at any point in life and what have you got to loose to explore who you are? Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and go with the flow. I wrestled with “am I Bi” or “am I gay” for years, it took me a while to figure it out. As long a you're are open and honest with yourself and others there is no harm or time limit in discovering you. I wish you the very best of luck in your journey.
Yeah, I liked the 'idea' of being straight and being with a beautiful woman but that's different than sexual and romantic fantasies Could be you find some guys attractive. It's been said very few people are '100%' gay or straight. I consider myself '80%' gay. So why not say I am bi, people ask. This quote says it better than i can: I occasionally see women on the street and like you I think 'oh that might be nice' but it's just an abstract thought. When I see a hot guy or fantasize about him, I feel an emotional, sexual and physical rush and I can vividly imagine and desire doing things with man that, well only men can do to one another So yes, i could have sex with a woman and enjoy it I guess, but it's not nearly as intense as my feelings for men.
I think there's something to your suspicion of liking the idea of a guy more than you've actually liked any guys. I'd say if you've never felt drawn to a guy romantically/sexually or in any physical capacity, you're probably safe in labelling yourself as gay. And if down the road you find that there is a guy who sparks your interest, that's okay, too! Figuring out any aspect of ourselves can be a lifelong process; sexual orientation is no different. If it comes to be later on that you're not gay but bi (or some variation thereof), no one can hold that against you. It's not as though you've lied to anyone--it's just a matter of growth.
