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Is there any masculine guys who prefer feminine/effeminated guys?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by prettybit4, May 3, 2014.

  1. seiraryu123

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    im with you... im 17, but I think my problem is not that bad if I compare it to yours. ya.. me too, when I was a boy, people liked to insult me so much, i was really really girly, BUT I DIDNT REALISE THAT I ATTRACTED TO GUYS. ya.. then when I was in elementry school, ya, I graduated, I was trying to 'clean my name' so then, no one insults me. I make it, iit was almost totally changed, rarely people insulted me. but then, I got.myself attracted to my classmate, the one who was omg, very my type... no, I couldnt say or confess my feeling to him. then I graduated, now im in senior highschool, I think I have to keep myself away from boys I attracted to. its so hard, sometimes Im straying from the track because of emotions I put on him, oh my... Im surrounded by them who are somekind of homophobic, I dont know, so I have to keep my attitude infornt of them.

    this is it.

    I know, im not trying to someone's personality, ya, you have to force yourself not to always in group of girls. I do... I cant get others mock about my 'sissiness' or else... I have to change. no, im not totally changed, I just decrease it.

    you know, sometimes, the time will come, when gay guys feel comfort beside you because of the way to treat them, instead of your girlish attitude.
     
  2. guitar

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    I'm a masculine guy and I prefer more 'feminine' guys. Most people have a preference or type. It would be nice if the LGBT community were more accepting of everyone for who they are, but there's nothing wrong with someone having a type and stating what they want.
     
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  3. Chet

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    FYI, I also prefer more feminine/sensitive/boyish guys over big muscular types.
     
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  4. CapQuestionmark

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    I, being trans FtM, am still pretty feminine, but it changes practically daily. Sometimes I'll feel like being "manly" and the like, and other days I'll be more flamboyant than most of the girls in my high school.

    In my case, I am looking for guys who are feminine, because I want to protect them and get the sense that I mean something to them. The fact that I can do that for someone I love will make me feel a lot more at ease with the gender I choose.
     
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  5. jp36

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    If you take nothing else from this thread, please PLEASE don't use online comments sections, especially YouTube videos, as a way to gauge what people think or how people will act in the real world. It wouldn't be that much of an exaggeration to say that no-one has ever used a YouTube comment to make a negative point or put someone else down without being somehow disingenuous while doing it. Think it through. When you write a negative comment on YouTube, you're writing it to a load of total strangers who you will never encounter and who you know will never in a million years change their point of view just because you told them to. You are never going to get any other response than an argument with someone equally spiteful. So who are you writing the comment for? Yourself, of course.

    I can almost guarantee that the person who wrote the comment you've quoted is struggling with the exact same issues that you are. Rather than taking the eminently sensible steps that you have, of having a good hard think about the problem and discussing it with supportive peers who can advise and support you, this person has let the anxiety get so deeply, subconsciously rooted that the only way they can relieve the self-hatred is by expressing that hatred at other people.

    It might sound like a load of psychobabble but I swear it's an everyday occurrence. People think the internet is full of trolls and hate-slingers because it's anonymous, but if you ask me it's because it's reflexive. It's the very best place to hurl abuse at other people without acknowledging that it's yourself who you're actually trying to hurt. It's really no different than the deeply closeted kid at school who calls someone else 'gay' as an insult that little bit louder than everyone else, and doesn't really know why it makes him feel better and worse at the same time. (I should know; that kid was me.)

    So yeah, don't use online comments sections as a way to judge how people feel about things in the real world. Ideally, just don't read them at all - you'll never get anything out of them other than a bad case of the downers. Those people having a go at 'sissy' gay men online are almost certainly not doing it in the real world, because they're too busy failing to come to terms with being one of the 'sissies' themselves.

    In my (admittedly still limited) experience, gay men who are comfortable with themselves - and believe me, those are the ones you want to be involved with - are attracted to a whole range of types of other men. And far fewer have a rigid 'type' than the internet and the dating apps would suggest anyway. Especially when real feelings come into play, rather than just the parade of hypothetical body-types that some men seem to have in their heads when trawling for hook-ups.

    And for what it's worth, I'm what they call a 'masculine' guy and I'm currently struck down with the hots, big-time, for this incredibly beautiful lad who works in the shop next door to the restaurant where I work. He's as textbook 'feminine' as they come - softly spoken, slim, flamboyant, has this amazing ability to be instant best friends with just about anyone within seconds of meeting them - and I've just found out that he's straight as a ruler. :bang: Just one example of how little all these categories and 'types' and supposed compatibilities actually matter in the real world.
     
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  6. matt1994

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    . Just really depends on personailly and compatibility . People are attracted to all types. I'm more of a fem guy and trust me some masculine guys like that.
     
  7. pinkpanther

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    My roommate was gay and slightly on the effeminate side, but in all of his relationships he was the psychologically dominant person. He knew what to do, how to do it, and when to do it to get whatever he wanted. He was not afraid to take risks and play people for his own benefit. His partners were more masculine looking but they were definitely not the strong side of the relationship.

    My point is that being effeminate or masculine does not make you "weaker" by default. You can be the more masculine partner in the relationship and still end up being taken care of.

    When it comes to me, I find guys on both sides to be equally attractive as long as they are comfortable with themselves and know what they're doing in life.
     
  8. Nabascrewn

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    I am masculine for the most part, I do have my moments of femininity, but I want to be the protective boyfriend, my current partner is very feminine. There are degrees of femininity, but as for one posted before, personality has nothing to do with masc/fem, I've met a fair share of gay guys of both spectrum that are not pleasant. Be who you are, and one day you will find your prince charming.
     
  9. yayforthelgbt

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    Well I'm only 14 lol but if I imagined having a boyfriend, I would like feminine and masculine traits alike. I would want him to be feminine in personality in the sense he would be sensitive, sweet, caring, and also in the fact he would let him self be emotional and I would like to be the crying shoulder to him. However, I do like the idea of being protected. In the attraction to looks kinda way, I'm only really attracted to masculine-looking guys. I find many feminine-looking guys cute but I normally don't think "wow, they're hot!" and sexually feminine guys do nothing for me. I'm very feminine in personality in the fact I can be very sassy and also emotional and my mannerisms are very "feminine." However, I look all around masculine and I'm masculine in personality in other ways. I would date all types of guys even though I have preferences, it would be boring if I dated the same kind of guys all the time. I've never had a boyfriend so I don't know what it would be like.
     
  10. Damien

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    Hi prettybit4

    There are some guys who are 'attracted to the feminine' - in either women, or other guys. I'm one of those. I like guys who by nature are kind, soft, gentle, with that same lovely 'yin' energy that most girls have - as you seemed to imply, someone you feel like putting your arm around and taking care of, protectively. I don't care anymore if I get disliked for it by some. But yeah that's how it is and I think there are actually lots of other gay or bi guys around who would feel the same.

    Stay strong in your heart, you will find someone someday, and don't be fooled by hearsay, or some of the things you read online, that gay guys are all necessarily seeking 'the masculine' types. That just isn't true.
     
    #30 Damien, May 1, 2015
    Last edited: May 1, 2015
  11. RedDragon2427

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    I wouldn't say I prefer feminine or effeminate males, but an effeminate guy can be pretty cute. I just find that they are much more comfortable in their own skin, and most are so joyful and fun to be around. I would identify myself more as a 'straight-acting' guy, so it's hard for me to meet other guys because they wouldn't expect me to be gay. But, I only have so much dating experience:/
     
  12. AlmostBlue

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    The thing is, you are magnifying a very small section of the "gay community" and thinking that is the norm. Youtube comments are the most unreliable place to find what people really think, and hook up sites and dating sites attract only a certain type of population. I do not associate masculinity with protectiveness and I'm also not particularly looking for that in a man. I like all different variety of people with their unique personality, and most of my good friends feel similarly. I would say that you're still young and you're being caught up in your own mind at the moment. Take a deep breath, and live your life and try to meet nice people and place yourself in an environment you feel comfortable. You will soon realize that there are many people with diverse preferences, and you might find your own preferences broadening as well. This whole talk about "the nature of being gay=liking men not women" is nonsense. Sexuality is incredibly complicated and cannot be reduced to cultural ideology of masculinity.
     
  13. Cohannan

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    I didn't read the whole thread but wanted to respond to OP. Hey I'm a masculine often precieved as straight bi guy and my tastes in men definitely steers towards the less masucline types, and I know more than just a handful of guys like me. The are no hard and fast rules but don't look to the net for your confirmation nine times out of online environs are filled with the most toxic elements of any community (this place being a lovely exception). Also I don't think you're​ selfish, people want what they want and that's that, in matter of taste there are no right answers. Also I wonder how many of those masc 4 masc macho guys are struggling with internalised homophobia and mysogyny, I'm not saying every masc guy who likes other masc guys just there are some real sh#t heels who spout some similar bs that I have met.
     
  14. Humbly Me

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    Just because there are retarded jerks who happen to be gay doesn't mean that gay people are retarded dicks. Hopefully this site stands as proof of that.

    And tbh I'm not super masculine either, don't feel bad about it. And know that gaining some muscle doesn't really change your personality, but excersizing is healthy and a lot of people find muscles attractive even in guys with more feminine frames.
     
    #34 Humbly Me, Jun 4, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2017
  15. Sleeping Owl

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    tl;dr gotta agree with most people here. Guys out there are attracted to fem guys and to masc guys regardless if they're fem or masc themselves. I get that the personality difference is sometimes jarring since it seems there's a divide. Sometimes I feel like I'd get more attention if I were fem but in the same facet, I'm glad I'm not fem because of dumb "male pride." At the end of the day you need to learn to be comfortable with who you are; when you find someone who likes you for you that's a really awesome thing.
     
  16. Fishtail

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    Did i understand if correctly that you where only talking about the effeminated bodytype?

    If yes, do you really want to understand the stupid bias "societys stereotype rules being a male"
    mind of gays? I'm sure i won't go near them or consider a date, cause it's sad -
    that they can't break free from the societys expectation passive brainwash :confused:.

    Cause that's what they basically doint: Even cause im gay(bi?) i'm still not a pink lover

    If no, i did miss the point of this cause i have an unbalanced sleep due to being sick.
     
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  17. PureSissy

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  18. PureSissy

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    I know this is a very old thread but the subject query is essentially timeless and this should be good news for anyone interested. I am a non-operative, non-sexual (asexual?) MtF transsexual transvestite sometimes sissy (love being effeminate). All my life I have intentionally, as my number-one priority, kept myself as small, slender and feminine looking as possible. I can tell you that there are tons of guys who absolutely love and desire feminine guys, especially sissies! That really should come as no surprise given that for many guys (who like being a guys) to 'have' as his significant other, submissive and the physically weaker of the pair, who values and admires him for his masculinity, a slightly-feminized or fully-feminized '[former] male' (or anywhere in between) is actually the absolute ultimate for their sense of manhood...the ultimate masculine ego boost that keeps boosting. They are afforded no doubt whatsoever that they ARE THE MAN, THE DOMINANT to be in charge of their pretty, sweet thing, who brings and has all the good things about 'being a girl (or feminine guy)' yet none of the bad things...none of the 'things' that have caused and driven the MGTOW movement. Many men see this concept as an extreme and constant turn-on. Now, here is the crux of the biscuit: You often will not find these guys in or around online or offline typical gay environments for two important reasons:

    1) Many tend to not consider themselves gay, UNTIL they perhaps find themselves questioning after finding a feminized 'guy' that turns them on. Others may staunchly tell themselves that they are not gay because [you/I/he/she] is/are not really male, which I suppose could be fine as long as such person can playfully accept the notion that perhaps they ARE gay and just fooling them-self...with the caveat of hey, whatever anyhow I mean labels are stupid and below us, etc, right?

    and,

    2) Many are Bi whether they know it or not and these will be the guys who, until they can meet that feminized 'male' of their dreams (or potentially of their dreams!) they will continue to SETTLE for the next best thing: a girl, or girls.

    Lastly, even if one is just feminine and not into feminizing them-self (I and my ilk are among the latter), there is still a world of wonderful learning, loving, and finding to be had...finding each other, finding one's self...for both/all sides. I am not into intimate contact with other bodies but I can tell you that whether I am out and about in full lipstick high-heeled femme mode or out in boy drag with just my long hair released from its ponytail I get hit on ALL the time!

    Happy Valentine's Day 2019!
     
  19. grayman

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    Why would people's preference in dating partners "annoy" you? Eh, I'll chalk it up to you being seventeen and immature.

    I'm a masculine guy, and if I were I to date another man I'd prefer he was masculine rather than feminine. I'm not saying I couldn't be attracted to an effeminate man, but I doubt I would be. I tend to be annoying by the overtly gay, loud, "sassy" type of gay guys. It's nothing to do with their sexuality, obviously, but I'm just usually annoyed by loud, obnoxious people; sassy gay guys usually tend to be loud obnoxious and in-your-face gay and I just don't like that personality type. And masculine gay guys simply aren't usually like that so I tend to be more attracted to them. Obviously, not all effeminate gay men are obnoxious either, but I still just don't really find myself attracted to feminine men.

    I do prefer feminine women; I've always attracted the girly girls, which is what I like. Everyone has their favorite flavor. It's life. That being said, I'm sure PLENTY of masculine guys like feminine guys and it's just a matter of finding one of those guys if that's what you want.

    Also, as others have said, you can still be the dominant person in a relationship even if you're feminine and your boyfriend is masculine. I don't think gender or personality necessarily dictates who is "in charge," so to speak (obviously excluding the part of the personality that makes someone more of a leader, for lack of a better term).
     
  20. Contented

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    I prefer more feminine guys . I would consider myself slightly more masculine but my BF is very fem. what attracted me however was his personality , his total comfort and confidence in who he is. I don’t feel I am his protector , we are equals. Sexually we are both versatile so dominance doesn’t really enter the picture either. If anything I am moving more fem.