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Is daydreaming when you cant be with someone healthy

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lemony, Sep 29, 2021.

  1. Lemony

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    It may help to read my thread “Lemony is in love and that is all she can think about” first but alas my question is simple. I love my friend who I can’t be with now, she is bi so thats a positive. She has a bf and lives interstate. I feel like she may feel similar or in years time we might be able to be with each other. We reconnected after 3 years and it felt like no time went by. She knows I have feelings for her.

    Is it healthy to cope with my love that hurts right now to daydream at night about our possible future together or is that like super unhealthy and bad...... I mean we both had photos from our time together in easy reach from 3 years ago..... I feel like the universe is telling me that we will be together just not yet....

    Any advice?

    I LOVE THIS GIRL SO DAMN MUCH LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    IMHO spending a little time with daydreams and fantasy are fine. If it starts to become an obsession or takes time and energy away from living your real life then that would be a problem. I myself have spent a great deal of time daydreaming that things would have been different and I do not think that it has benefited me at all, in fact it often just led to more depression and regrets for me. I have found that putting more effort into cultivating new relationships (as in friendships) was more practical (in fact doing so is how I met and developed my relationship with my now husband).
     
  3. LostInDaydreams

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    I’ve done this in the past myself, so you’re not the only one. I suppose it serves as an escape from the reality of the situation. Though, I’m not necessarily recommending it, as @QuietPeace says above, your mental energy is probably better spent on forming new connections and friendships, or even on spending time with existing friend to distract yourself.

    I think it’s probably fine occasionally, as long as it doesn’t cause you to lose sight of the reality of the situation (such as that she has a boyfriend), and also doesn’t leave you feeling worse afterwards when reality hits you again.

    Whatever happens, know that you will get through this.
     
    #3 LostInDaydreams, Oct 2, 2021
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2021
    QuietPeace and Lemony like this.