1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

If you're "too old to die young", but still want to experience the unexperienced?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Maksim, Feb 26, 2021.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Maksim

    Maksim
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2021
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kiev, Ukraine
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    First of all, sorry for my English. My native language is Russian, also I can speak freely Ukrainian and German. But there only a year or so of English learning. I have a nice progress, but far away from excellency. So, once again, sorry.

    Imagine you're in your mid 50's, yet robust and sporty, in extremely good shape - would you be considered strange, a weirdo, by encirclement at gay parties and raves? At 56 you want a bit of something you missed when you was 16 and was living in USSR. You're absolutely closeted. Currently you lives not far away from Kiev, the Ukrainian capital, but will relocate this year to Switzerland. You never experience anything, I mean, really nothing. Absolutely. Not even a single kiss in the whole life. There is a saying in Russian, which means grey hair into beard, devil into rib. English equivalent, perhaps, young saints make old sinners. I do understand, but... my understanding not ruined my desire. At this age, probably, there is a demand for stable relationship and ordered lifestyle. You know, honestly, I can't say that about me. Maybe it's because I missed this stage of life, hyperdynamic late teens and early twenties. And now, when I will relocate to a liberal, tolerant country, I want...

    I'm really fit. Running half-marathons. Yoga and gym, almost every day.
    It would sound very childish. Insane. Or simply... stupid.
    But I don't want a relationship. What I want is: speed.

    I want a wild dance at the crowded floor late at night. Fast, with a chaotic flashes of light in the shadows and a smell of tobacco around. I want jump.

    Is it possible for me? Now?
     
    #1 Maksim, Feb 26, 2021
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2021
  2. Nickw

    Nickw
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,335
    Likes Received:
    1,397
    Location:
    Out West
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    YES! This is not something that I am interested in any longer. But, when I came out in my mid-fifties to my wife, she and I decided I could experiment with men. I found no shortage of guys of all ages to "party" with. You will be fine. The important thing is to be honest, safe and true to yourself.
     
    #2 Nickw, Feb 26, 2021
    Lesbee and Maksim like this.
  3. Landgirl

    Landgirl
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2016
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    It's a tricky one. When I first came out (at the age of 55), I felt (and still sometimes feel) a desire to go absolutely mad, and live my life the way I wished I had lived it, full of action, fully immersed in a gay lifestyle, sleeping with people for the pure enjoyment of it, before ultimately settling down with "the one".

    However....I was also aware that, given my age, if I messed around for too long, and delayed my search for a single exclusive partner, I might find that I had missed my chance, and the opportunity to find "the one" had passed me by. I am filled with regret that I didn't come out earlier, and feel that I have so much living to cram into my remaining years.
     
    #3 Landgirl, Mar 3, 2021
  4. quebec

    quebec
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,203
    Likes Received:
    2,369
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Maksim.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I can understand how you feel...I came out at the age of 64. I also had that deep-down desire to somehow makeup for everything that I missed. But the cost of doing that for me was just too high...I wasn't going to breakup my family, my three grown sons and eight grandchildren. So I live with one foot in the closet and one foot in the LGBTQ+ world. I'm out to my wife and two of my sons as well as a number of my closest friends. This works for me, however, I'm not suggesting that it would work for anyone else. Everyone is different. If they are married, how much a spouse is willing to accept is different in every case. You don't mention a spouse in your post. If you are married then you will need to include your wife in your plans. It's not unusual for divorce to happen in this kind of situation. That my wife was willing for us to stay together was very important to me...I did not want my family to break up over my sexuality. If you are not married, then you have more flexibility in your choices. That desire to make up for the lost years is really quite common with those who come out later in life. There's nothing really wrong with it however, you will need to be extra careful to be safe when you are intimate with someone. The desire to finally have the kind of sex that you have always wanted can sometimes make a person get into a rush and "throw caution to the winds". That is the type of course that can easily lead to a very serious, even deadly outcome. So please, be careful...be safe. There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! We will do our best to be a support and a place to vent when you need it! We are so glad that you have found us here on EC!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #4 quebec, Mar 4, 2021
    QuietPeace likes this.
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)