I get way too emotional over stuff. Things like when someone simply asks me to explain, why I didn't do what I said I would and even after properly explaining and them being satisfied with my answer I take it as an attack against me. Tears just start flowing. One classmate once told me as well, that every time she says something to me I immediately get defensive. Whenever someone critics my work too. It's the same. It's just you put so much effort into the work and people still find stuff wrong with it, then it's frustrating, even if it's just something small. I'm probably just under too much pressure and being depressed too is making things worse. I don't want to deal with people at all. I'd just rather stay in my bed all day, but still make myself go through uni and other activities. I don't even know how I'm able to keep up with uni in this state. I hate group projects with a passion. I'm very independent and having to discuss stuff with others, especially, when there is poor communication or no communication at all drains all of my energy that's still there. There is also my anxiety that keeps me from trying to make the communication better. I always think what, if they get angry at me or get offended or that everything is my fault and I have no right to complain at all. Sometimes I wonder why do I keep up with this? Why I bother at all? I also take way too much onto my shoulders. I don't like to acknowledge either, that I need any help at all. I'm quite stubborn there. Also had other stuff going on, what's just too painful to deal with and too personal to write it down here, so everything just makes me emotional and I wish I could turn all the emotions off. Not really asking for advice here, but happily take any encouragement and hugs, what are so needed and I just really needed to vent.
Hey Rayland, I'm sorry you're struggling so much! I've thought the same thing, just make me a robot that functions and sleeps, no feels. Why Pinocchio wanted to be real is crazy to me, but maybe I can trade places with a magical wooden puppet who wants to be me? Sending warm bear hugs to you (((Rayland)))
I feel that way too. I'm so sorry you're overwhelmed but you're not alone in how you feel. You're strong for carrying on with uni and doing what you need to do every day so don't forget that
Thank you. I appreciate it a lot. Hugs. I do feel better after venting. And the encouragement. Did some deep breathing. Kinda want to go outside too. Snow storm haven't stopped me before. I probably could get some beautiful pictures out of it.
I'm sorry to hear that, Rayland. I feel you because I get the impression that you are a perfectionist, who always try to give the best of yourself. And totally agree with you in the point of team work at uni due to similar experiences I had in the past. There's always somebody who doesn't do their task properly (or even doesn't do their part at all) and then the responsible people in the group, just like you, have to do their part. I'm not an expert but maybe you're right when you say you are putting too much pressure on yourself. What I do when I feel like that is going for a walk with my music. Maybe, in Estonia this option is more difficultt than in my country due to your cold temperatures, especially in the winter Definitely somebody should invent a magic button to turn off emotions. Sometimes they can be overwhelming. I don't know if my post was helpful at all, but don't give up. As you have been told you're very strong. Apart from that you're capable to achieve whatever you fight for. Also, even if it's not related, you are a great person with a big heart. And good people deserve good things. Hugs.
I wish I could just turn off all emotions period, it's too exhausting for me to basically fake being happy because I am not happy, my parents and brother just don't understand how lucky they have it I just want to be myself and it sucks that I can't even do that, I am sorry your feeling this why though, I am also sensitive and I hate it because I feel like I make my parents or brother mad at me and I don't want that but I just don't know how to explain how I feel I have always kept it bottled up so I don't know how to tell anyone how I feel which sucks I wish I knew how but i am so used to keeping things bottled up that I just keep hiding it's easier for me and also I always think I did or I am doing something wrong I overreact a lot and I am afraid I am going to lose the friends I have made online because of it.
Hugs I know the feelings. I can't be myself either, at least not right now, but soon and I believe you can do in the future. I'm also afraid of loosing my family, since I'm not out to them, so the feeling of fearing loosing people in my life, is also same to you. I was used to bottling everything in too and it resulted to me yelling at my family alot and overreact even now and get sensitive. But it has got a lot better, ever since I started therapy. It was because of my anxiety and deppression. Talking helps a lot and the fact that I can vent here, otherwise I would have no one to talk to, so don't be afraid of posting and talking about your feelings too. My PM's are always open for you too, if you need someone to talk to. Hugs.
