Awhile ago, I mentioned that my mom may have seen a coming out tab open on my computer. She didn’t say anything so I didn’t know if she saw it. I proceeded to have an anxiety attack with just the potential that she knew. Recently, I came back from camp and she asked if I had a boyfriend. When i said no, she asked if I had a girlfriend and I said no. She also mentioned something like that after. Finally today, I had just bought a jean jacket and at the cash register we were looking at pins for it. She suggested I get a rainbow pin for pride. I just shrugged it off not knowing what to say and just decide to not get any yet. I am nowhere near ready to come out to her. I don't know if she told my dad. I’ve only come out to a bunch of my friends. Is she trying to get me to come out to her?? I’m freaking out and don’t know what to do. Someone please help me!!
The way I see it, she has a suspicion and she's trying to let you know that she's okay with it. I mean, was there anything malicious in her voice when she asked if you had a girlfriend or wanted a Pride pin? Anything off about her body language? If not, that tells me that she's trying to subtly let you know she's okay with you not being straight. If you're not comfortable coming out yet, don't. Simple as that. However, the way I'm reading your situation is that your mom is comfortable with the situation and when/if you feel ready, she will be fine with you being whatever you want to be.
Thanks for responding Chierro. No, nothing seemed off when she asked me those things. I guess it is a good think that she may be trying to tell me she is okay with me not being straight. After all, so many people have gone through horrible things because their parents weren't supportive. But a small part of me just wishes she had no clue at all. My sexuality is a can of worms I am nowhere near ready to open with her. I don't tell my mom anything. While I wish we could be closer, I just can't bring myself to talk to her. Thanks again for the advice!
If nothing seemed off about how your mom was asking, I really think she had good intentions in what she did. Take a breather, friend, you've got a supportive parent I completely understand the worry of telling your parents though because of past stories. I didn't come out to my parents until this past March even though I knew they would be fine with it. It's a scary thing, and it's honestly perfectly normal that you're not ready to tell your mom. Do it when/if you feel ready to!
I think she might. I have posted similar things my mom has said on here and the responses were all overwhelmingly that she knows. To me, the idea she might already know is a relief. I know now when I come out it won't be such a huge shock.
I guess so. I am just nowhere near ready to every mention it to her so its a little bit uncomfortable for me .Thanks for replying tho.
I completely get where you're coming from. I am also terrified of how she'll react. I am aware she won't be upset but I still worry. It makes me feel stupid because I know so many people face so much worse, but I still worry. I am coming out to her in three days and I am dreading the moment I type that text and hit send.
Take it from a parent, if she asked if you have a girlfriend, and suggested a pride pin for your jacket, then she definitely knows and is trying to help you come out to her. She doesn't really understand that you need to do this at your own pace, so although it's freaking you out a bit, please know that she means well. She's trying to tell you it's ok. Rather than thinking "I'm nowhere near ready..." maybe start thinking about the possibility of coming out and what you might need in order to be ready to do it. I know you're scared., but it sounds like your mom will be supportive.
she might be ok with it, I understand that you are a bit scared I am as well as I haven't actually came out to my parents either
Thanks for replying. The problem is that I have no clue what I am. I thought I was pan but I’m just realizing now that I might be gay. How can I tell my mom what I am if i don’t even know what I am. I’m pretty sure she will be supportive. The biggest thing I’m worried about is her thinking I’m not old enough to realize these things. I think I’m mostly upset about her knowing something is because it’s not what I had planned. I’ll just have to see where it goes.
Thanks for replying. Even though I know my parents will be supportive I’m freaking terrified haha. Are you planning on coming out soon? I don’t really think I’m ready to.
