I think I've always known that I'm gay, some time way before puberty. But the problem is I saw it as a challenge, something to overcome. I assumed it was something awful and that I was clever enough to get myself out of it. So I spent my teenage years and early 20s fighting it. Sometimes I had a lot of success but inevitably it's led me to a really dark place where I feel alone and unable to form romantic relationships with anyone. Can anyone relate to the struggle? This epic struggle to make yourself straight? I think in some ways I'm finding it difficult to let go of that struggle, it has defined me for so long that I don't know how to exist without it.