I regret unfollowing her on social media. Is it too late to communicate my mistake?

So I Had two dates with this girl that seemed to go well. (We’re both 24 and bi). First one she initiated, then I initiated the second and she payed for our food and drove me home. She messaged me when she got home, I expressed my thanks, and she said “thank you for your time beautiful☺️☺️”

I thought She’s very sweet and cool to talk to. She told me she has a lot of previous relationship baggage (has only dated abusive men) and is not looking for anything serious.

She’s not even sure if she wants to be monogamous or poly, and feels like she also self sabotages and is a walking contradiction. To sum up, she overshared a bit and got vulnerable with her past and flaws. With Me, I’m monogamous, yet I don’t want to rush into anything serious either.

I Just wanted to develop a connection and let it unfold over time. After the second date when messaging her that I want to see her again, that I like her, and asking how often would be cool to see her, she said she didn’t really feel a spark.

That it’s unfortunate, because she likes seeing me and asked if we could develop a friendship instead. Saying if I ever wanted to go out at night in her city, to hit her up. I appreciated her honesty in reply instead of just ghosting me.

For me, I understand relationships can blossom from a friendship, but I also understand it may just stay as a friendship and I shouldn’t expect it to blossom into anything else.

Either way, I liked her enough in this grey platonic/romantic area that I wanted to get closer to her as a person at least. The last time I saw her was the beginning of November.

A few weeks passed and She didnt reached out in terms of hanging out, but had initiated convos with some of my Instagram stories and Twitter posts. We were talking about music and she sent me this small music festival that was coming up in December.

I mentioned we should go, and she said she’s not sure if she wants to go that bad, because each ticket is 60 dollars and the whole price thing. So I said it’s no problem and it’s up to her, but I decided to buy my ticket anyway. Then about a week later on a Friday I asked about it being cool to hang out again if she’s down, and she replied saying she should be free on Monday.

When asking her more about plans, I mentioned if she would be okay with seeing me closer to my city, and for her to lmk on any ideas on Friday (no plans were finalized anyway) she left me on read for 2 days. Saying she thought about it more, and that she’s been very busy.

She recently transferred to a different restaurant as a server, and that she’s still training and hasn’t received any tips the past few weeks. The same restaurant she was talking to me about on our second date, so her explanation seemed legit at first.

Then she said she’s in saving mode with the holidays coming up, and that it would be better if we could make plans some other time. I told her I respected her choice and I totally get that, and she thanked me for my understanding and messaged me more about her job being delayed in opening.

I mean, she could’ve just said she’s busy and leave it to that, but i thought maybe she seems like a person to be upfront and not make things up. However, I did say that next time we hang out, it can be something little to no cost, then I made a comment about her job.

She ignored the part of my message about doing something little to no cost next time, but replied to the other part of my message about her job and holiday shopping/money. Since then, she posted on her IG story going to a Birthday dinner for her best friend, and went to a concert with her the most recent Friday.

Then again, that is her best friend and obviously I’m not a priority like that because we’ve only met twice. Which I get.

But I thought it about more, and started to think she was just trying to let me down nicely and making an Excuse to not see me at all anytime soon with the vagueness. So I became a little hurt because I thought I was being rejected as a friend as well, and out of my own pettiness, I unfollowed her and removed her as a follower on both Instagram and Twitter out of a whim. I didn’t want her to constantly view my stories/posts if I felt she didn’t want to hang out again…because I’m not trying to just keep online friends/connections.

I want to spend quality time in real life. And in the past, I’ve experienced people who mention about hanging out, and they never followed through..but would always view my stories and keep it to just casual online.

After a month of that, now I regret unfollowing her because my own assumptions and projections of past experiences with flaky people. The way I view it is that if someone wants to make time for you and likes seeing you, they’ll be more specific. :/ idk. I know have a hard time communicating my feelings though, because I don’t want to come across as entitled, and It would feel weird talking about that considering I only met her twice. I think I acted immature..would it be too late and weird to message her about this?

 

@BiGemini87 @Chip You guys have a point. I thought I fully let it go, but I have the tendency to have lingering thoughts about past people. I thought I may have overreacted by unadding her to prove a point in the way she brushed me off. Other people have told me it wasn’t that deep, and that it seems like she just wanted to be casual friends you may talk to once in a blue moon.

At that time, I didn’t want to accept that. I was hoping to develop at least a closer friendship in person, but i should’ve kept my expectations much lower. I should’ve just kept the door open if she were to decide to contact me and want to talk to me by not unfollowing her. I did like her and enjoyed talking to her, which is why I feel that regret now. Trying to Re-add her may turn out very awkward, which is what’s stopping me from doing so.
She may be like “what’s is wrong with this person. Can’t she leave me alone or take the hint” which I would hate to come across as that person lol

 

hi! Thank you for your thoughtful reply on the matter. So I ended up re-following her on one of the social media platforms about a week ago to see what would happen, and no Follow back since. I can’t assume what goes on in other people’s head, but like other’s have mentioned to me, she didn’t seem to care to put much of any effort to maintain any connection, and was just playing nice to let me down gently. But yeah, I regret and learned from my mistake of being a little too rash in that way and not do that again of unfollowing someone in the future, unless someone was actually rude to me. I admit, I’m not the best direct communicator, so I hesitate in having these type of uncomfortable , direct conversations with other people. So Sometimes I’ll do passive aggressive things like that if I feel rejected. And I also get social media is not the best way to keep in touch with people or build meaningful connections. Social media isn’t real life and things can easily be misconstrued