I hate that just bc of one single thought i lose all the progress ive been making, such a terrible thing. Just bc of a one thought of a guy ejaculating in my face i lost all my progress and thought about this the whole day, having the responses, and movements. Just hate that lol.
You haven't lost all progress. The nature of the way the brain chemistry works is that there will be fits and starts, moments of doing better and moments where it feels like you aren't progressing. Are you being completely consistent with your medication? Have you noticed a worsening of symptoms? It sounded like things were moving in a positive direction. Sometimes things slip back for a bit, but the first thing to look at is whether anything has changed in your diet, medication dosage/regimen, or anything like that.
Yeah i know i didnt lost all progress but its so sad, i was just fine some weeks ago, was so happy, now im thinking that im just lying to myself and denying my same sex attraction, all these bc of the responses, feelings i had and am having, and from past things that occured. Its just make me so sad and with a huge anxiety all day. And yeah im take my meds consistently, i wouldnt say it got worse, it feels that i just fell from a stair and will have to restart. Im still the same, and things were great some weeks ago, but all the compulsions i did came back again, and this is hitting me again and i cant stop thinking that im just in denial, well life is like this sometimes.
Phone your doctor and discuss. The nature of medication for OCD is that it's an inexact process getting the right balance to where it's effective. You may need to adjust your dose slightly. Life does not need to be like that once your medication is working effectively.
Yes i will do that, and adress to him these problems, i really thought i was a lucky guy, i thought that i wouldnt have to adjust my meds, but i think ill do.
Last days ive been thinking about attraction and how it feels. Because a lot of times i see a handsome guy i have this tight in my chest, like someone punched my heart, and then the anxiety starts, and i dont know if this is attraction, bc i saw gay ppl saying that they used to feel anxiety too. And saw other ppl teeling someone who was confused that the groinals response near friends was bc he was gay. Even if its not happening again for a long time, but it happened. Im really struggling with this bc i dont know my feelings anymore. What should i do?
Is it possible to know sexuality just by thinking about romantic stuff? Like cuddling and hugs and holding hand, kiss in the forehead. I wonder, since kiss and sex dont give me clarity, but this romantic stuff only with woman and its aweosme.
Is good to know, because is the only thing that i can clearly get aroused without any tyle of ocd spiking. When watching movies or when im going to sleep i like to think that im hugging a girl and cuddling her, it makes me feel awesome
Yesterday i saw a video from a trasnwoman saying that genitals doesnt mean nothing when related to sexuality. Thats why theres no problem for a straight guy to like a woman who didnt do the operation. But this left me wondering, would this explain why i cant get aroused seeing a mans penis but get extremelly hard when seeing a transwoman penis? Tge max i can feel seeing a man penis is the tinglings that are always there lol, but whem i look at a woman and look at her penis i get extremelly aroused for some reason, nowadays her penis arouses me even more than vagina, dont know if its bc my constant use of porn since 12. But would this tie into the explanation o saw yesterday?
You've likely overly sensitized yourself to one type of porn by numbing yourself to other porn by watching too much porn (and, likely, masturbating excessively while watching said porn.) Going back to the post I made a few days ago about different types of trauma impacting different and specific parts of the brain, there is a specific part of the brain, associated with sexual drives, that is susceptible to influence from certain types of trauma that basically influences one to be hypersexual. I've not seen anything specific that correlates this to OCD, but I would not be surprised if the two are related.
Yeah i do notice this ngl, i notice how hard it became to masturbate only to women or fantasy, i have to have porn there to make it, and with time i dont get as aroused as before with this, so then the trans porn appears and it makes me so aroused. And i do think this impacts my real life experiences too. Maybe im indeed hypersexual. And know i dont see a problem with getting aroused seeings a transwoman penis, bc they are woman afterall, i just find funny that in men it doesnt do it for me, since it should be the same lol.
