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I get jealous

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Moonboy93, Jun 24, 2022.

  1. Moonboy93

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    I Know I don't want to be a negative nancy but when I get on the web I get Jealous of guys having someone in their life they have boyfriends got engage getting married and have family on my own I feel like nobody really want me when I really want to talk somebody I get scared because they're might ignored says bad things about me even all block me I'll can't help I'm overweight I'm struggle my weight for so long I feel like my hope is gone for me I just want somebody hold me doing good and bad times in my life but it's make believe :frowning2:
     
  2. Moonboy93

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    I'm sorry being negative everyone
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! No need to apologise; it is understandable that you feel down - social media and the internet in general are full with images, videos and posts of couples being happy in a relationship, getting engaged and married. They might be in shape and nothing seems to be out of place. Keep in mind that some, if not a majority, of the media you are viewing, don't tell you the whole story. Sometimes people post 'happy' images or videos to maintain an image of themselves or to have something to project 'everything is great.' The reality though, might look different.

    Try not to get discouraged by images/videos you are seeing on the web or social media. What might help you to shift focus a bit is to perhaps join a LGBTQ+ social or support group (if you haven't had a chance to do so yet) to start gaining confidence and connect with others who might also have similar or the same struggles you are experiencing - being concerned as to how others will view them.

    You can't control what other swill say or how they will view you; what you can control is how you approach it and how you build the confidence in yourself that you need to be out there, and allow others to get to know you. Remember that there is so much more to you, than your physical appearance. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Moonboy93

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    thank you mirko Can give me a link for help or support I need to work on my self esteem more
     
  5. Mirko

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    Sent you some information in a private message. :slight_smile:
     
  6. PrettyBoyBlue

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    Hi Moonboy! I don't think you're being overly negative, I think you're being honest with yourself about how you feel.... and honesty is really, really good!!

    For me, that jealousy for the reasons you listed has often turned to anger, and it was a really bad thing for me. And I was probably clueless about how I felt at the time! You're much more aware, and it doesn't seem like you might be prone to that, but I wanted to mention it. It's really good that you're thinking about these things.

    As far as support, a lot of stuff is often found locally, so it depends on your area. I searched online for "LGBT Tuscaloosa Alabama" and found this link you can copy into your browser: (as I type this, Mirko got the jump on me)

    navigator.alabama.gov/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/LGBTQ-Resources.pdf

    If you contact the local PFLAG chapter listed, they may have relevant meetings that would probably be a wonderful place to start!
    -PBB
     
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  7. Moonboy93

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    all I want in life is somebody love me for me I know overweight but guys Probably don't want a overweight person like me I'll just want somebody love meuncondtionally not somebody love me for u not meaning it's hard that I get scared around people I feel like no guy really wants me My hope is gone:frowning2:
     
  8. Rayland

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    You know something that I have learned in life is that when it comes to love, then looks really don't matter. What matters is in the inside of you and giving love a chance to come into your life.
     
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  9. Moonboy93

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    I guess these thoughts get into my head drive me crazy thinking I'm not good enough for love
     
  10. Mirko

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    Hi there! Before you go out there, trying to find someone with whom it clicks, I would very much encourage you to work on your self-esteem and through shame.

    It might be worthwhile to watch Brene Brown's talks about shame and vulnerability. Here is one of them, that might already give you some food for thought:



    I would also encourage you to seek some support while you are trying to work through things and come to understand that everyone is different and that sometimes our efforts to change things, feel better about ourselves, take a while to come to fruition.

    Try to get into a better space first. This will allow you to enjoy getting to know others and concentrate on what matters.
     
  11. buzzer

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    I agree with Rayland. A lot of the images you see on the web or social sites have filters or have been photoshopped. Love is blind and only you as a person really counts. I have a couple of physical differences and was self conscience, but still found the love of my life, because he was able to look past the differences and see my inner being. So don't give up, there are quality guys out there who will appreciate you for who you are. My best wishes to you.
     
  12. BiGemini87

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    Hi, @Moonboy93. You don't need to apologize; EC is here to help you and others like you work through whatever life throws your way. We all need help and support sometimes, so please don't feel bad for expressing your feelings. :slight_smile:

    Self-esteem is a tough one to build up; this is something I know first-hand, and as much as I'd like to say it's something you will 100% overcome, I can't make that promise. It's often a work in progress and involves a great deal of conscious effort. Every time you find yourself being down on yourself--be it your weight, your hair, your eyes, or any other physical feature you see fault with--remember that there are plenty of unconventionally attractive people who are happy, in relationships, or otherwise succeeding in whatever's important to them. Therefore, there's no reason you can't find that kind of happiness too, and I certainly won't tell you that you'll only find love when you learn to love yourself; that message, while well-meaning, is oftentimes damaging at the worst, and unhelpful at the very least. Many of us don't know how to love ourselves--but if we can learn to at least like and respect ourselves, to understand that we're worthy of simple courtesy and love of others, we can (even if it takes time), we can draw those into our lives that show us these simple courtesies.

    I know it's so much easier said than done; really, I do. My body dysmorphia can be downright terrible at times, too. But if you take the time to see the best parts of yourself--not just physically, though that helps, but in terms of who you are as a person--it will go a long way towards helping you heal your self-image.
     
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  13. bsg75apollo

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    I went out to dinner last night with a gay couple. Neither one looks like a Greek god or even an actor who is famous for portraying a Norse god superhero. They both resemble the depressed post-blip Norse god superhero. But, you know what, they are happy and in love.
     
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