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I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by SubZero, Jan 26, 2015.

  1. SubZero

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    Hello everyone. I just joined this site in hopes of some advice because I'm unsure if I'm gay, bi, or straight (even at 21). I consider myself straight but I'd like to hear your opinions. I also hope what I'm about to say won't be inappropriate, and I apologize if it is.

    Basically, I'm questioning my sexuality because lately I've been aroused by gay porn...BUT ONLY one category of gay porn: Bondage. I'm not into the whole pain, leather, whips, etc. Just a nice, simple, and clean tie up (preferably if the guy is isn't nude). I tried looking up other categories on the site, but nothing else excites me. In fact, they're an instant turn off. I don't find anal, oral, group sex, etc. exciting by any means. I've never been romantically or sexually attracted to men before and I could never picture myself to be with another man. I've had crushes on women and find women hot.

    But I'm still questioning if I'm gay because gay bondage still turns me on. I've watched straight bondage and get turned on, but I get an erection within seconds when I see a guy tied up. No other porn category (whether it be straight or gay) turns me on as fast as gay bondage does. I'm trying to think of some physiological reasons why I enjoy seeing men tied up. I was bullied a few times before when I was younger (middle school), so could it be that I enjoy seeing a guy tied up because I'm picturing that I'm getting some sort of revenge? (Don't know how to word it).

    I don't find men attractive. Only when the element of bondage is introduced, then I get turned on. Seeing a nude picture of a good looking guy doesn't do anything for me. But a picture of a guy tied up/gagged will get me excited if I stare at it long enough. I feel like a complete sicko because I get turned on easily by this. What's wrong with me? And I know that sexuality is complex. So, can I be like 90% straight and 10% gay? I'm trying to figure this all out and it's bothering me!

    Thanks for any help.
     
  2. Chameleon

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    I'm the exact same way :O
    I'm straight for the most part but extremely attracted to male bondage. Like you also it's only light bondage that I like, where there's no full on nudity or stuff. We have much to discuss :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Do you per chance fantasize about being tied up up by guys as well or only seeing them in bondage?
     
    #2 Chameleon, Jan 27, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2015
  3. warholwendy

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    Broski, you're straight. I get turned on by gay porn and I'd even consider sex with a dude but I feel no attraction to any males. It is very likely you're just turned on by the sexual vibe the videos give off rather than the fact that there's hot dudes in it.
     
  4. tulipinacup

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    Sounds to me that you are straight. I would conclude that you could also enjoy being the one tied up but you mentioned that you picture your bully getting in vulnerable position.
    Do you think it turns you on when you're the doing the bondage to the guy?
     
  5. SubZero

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    LOL I thought I was crazy! Glad I'm not alone! I never really thought too much about it, but I guess I do fantasize myself being tied up by a guy just to see what it would feel like. I can't really explain it. I don't even know why seeing guys tied up/gagged turns me on instantly. Nothing about the male body turns me on, but yet I still get turned on even thinking of a guy in bondage lol. It also just doesn't feel the same when I picture a woman in bondage. Maybe it's just like a gay fantasy of mine?

    I think that's possible. I mean, I can tell if a guy is good looking or not, but I never thought anything sexual about a specific guy before. I think it might be the act of bondage that gets me excited and not so much the guys themselves, like you said.

    I was just trying to think of some possible reasons as to why this would turn me on. I don't know if me being made fun of when I was younger plays any effect on this. It was just a thought.

    I've never tried it before, but I can picture myself doing the bondage as well as being in bondage (maybe more so being tied up). There's just something about being helpless that turns me on.
     
  6. Jax12

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    Porn does not indicate one's sexual orientation. You also claim that you have never had feelings for guys. The problem with porn is that it's very one dimensional. It does not say anything about the emotional attachment between the actors, they're just getting paid for sex.

    You could be drawn to taboo acts, which in your case would be bondage.

    There's a lot more to relationships than sex, which is the only thing porn offers. Porn was never meant to be indicate how sex in real life works. You might get some ideas from porn, but hardly ever will you be able to act out your fantasies with someone you are truly in love with.

    Porn =/= Reality. Period.
     
  7. Chip

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    First, it isn't anyones place to definitively tell you whether you are gay or straight. Only you can know that, so I'd take any statements trying to make such definitive claims with a grain of salt.

    Second, the advice about porn being unreliable is good advice.

    Now... That said, we can't rule out the idea there is same sex attraction because clearly under some circumstances there is arousal. Now... Arousal is a curious thing. Some people are aroused by odd things like, say, people smoking, or feet, or armpits. We can't determine sexual orientation from those arousal cues.

    So you may need to look deeper. One way to do this would be to masturbate without porn and in different sessions, alternate fantasizing about guys, and then about girls. Try also fantasizing about guys in bondage, and separately, girls in bondage (or you in bondage with alternately, a guy and a girl in control.). This will give you a much clearer picture of what is going on.

    Once you have given these different scenarios an honest try, you will have an easier time understanding yourself.
     
  8. SubZero

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    Re: I consider myself straight, but only one category of gay porn turns me on...am I

    What you said does make sense. I know porn, in itself, shouldn't indicate someone's sexual orientation. I've read numerous comments from people claiming that porn doesn't ultimately define who you're attracting to. It's possible that I easily get aroused by taboo acts, like you mentioned.

    Thanks for the advice. I will surely try to look deeper in this and explore my feelings towards all this. It's just weird that I do feel a romantic/emotional attraction to women, and yet the other part of me fantasizes a guy in bondage. I wish I can just get rid of this weird fetish of mine, but I know I can't. The only time when I fantasize about guys is if they are tied up. When I fantasize about women, I never think about bondage. I just prefer normal sex with them.

    When I see guys on campus, I periodically picture what it would be like if they were tied up, but I never check out their bodies or anything like that. Nothing about the male body turns me on. I dunno what to make of this....but I will try to alternate fantasizing about both genders in bondage, like you suggested, and see what I conclude.