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I can't find a boyfriend

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by shingo01, Feb 1, 2023.

  1. shingo01

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2022
    Messages:
    2
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    1
    Location:
    No location
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I live in a country where homosexuality is very frowned upon by society and it is even an offense punishable by a prison sentence, so gays must, if they can of course, live in total discretion at out of sight.

    It is extremely difficult if not impossible to meet a person of the same sex, we have no choice but to go to online dating sites, reliability can be questioned but we feel much more protected.

    The problem with these sites (or applications) is that people may not match us, especially if we have an atypical profile, being myself hypersensitive and gifted, I therefore have a lot more trouble finding the person who suits me. since I have very specific requirements, I therefore set the bar very high because I don't want to be disappointed. I also tried a special dating site for atypical people but there were very few profiles and they didn't meet my expectations.

    I rather preferred to use "serious" dating sites (like elitesingles) with personality tests during registration and then have matches with a good compatibility rate, but the age group 18-24 years is less present, it is much more dedicated to older people. I don't think it's the best solution and it costs extra so it's not interesting.

    I don't know what I'm going to do to be able to find the right boy, who meets my search criteria, I really want to meet him. personally i have no friends to talk and interact with and i am more isolated than ever, i just want to be with only one individual out of the eight billion people on earth who can understand me, have such a rich relationship, even if it is located thousands of kilometers from my home, the most important thing is that it is the right one.



    I would like to know if there is another serious site, which has good feedback.

    Thank you in advance for all responses
     
  2. BiGemini87

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,318
    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello, @shingo01. Firstly, I'm sorry you have to live a discreet lifestyle; no one should be forced to hide who they really are, especially when all they want is to find love like so many others take for granted.

    Secondly, I'm not sure anyone can give you specific sites (as mentioning specifics isn't permitted), but if I could advise anything, it's two things:

    1) To be careful even in registering with such sites, since it's entirely possible you could be catfished in an attempt to out you, and
    2) To maybe lower yours expectations a bit.

    This doesn't mean settling for things you can't abide, but it does mean prioritizing the aspects that are deal-breakers for you, and compromising with everything else. For anyone reading your dating profiles, it might be overwhelming, seeing a checklist of expectations. It's possible some have been intimidated, and thus have decided it wouldn't be worth the trouble.

    Give both yourself and your potential matches breathing space in this regard. Drop it down to the basics in your profile, and leave the specifics to whenever you get to chat with a potential match.

    As for finding the right kinds of dating sites? I find reading through the reviews of the apps helps immensely, so that you get a feel for what works well on them, and what doesn't. Some of them are pretty awful, and it's gotten harder to navigate when so many demand premium accounts--but if you can find one (or a few), that allow more wiggle room and have fair reviews, they might be worth checking out.