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I Am Extremely Gender Confused :(

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Snidi, Dec 4, 2021.

  1. Snidi

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    I've gone to gender therapy for years now and nothing seems to be enough. If I could afford it I'd see a better gender therapist but all the really good ones are so expensive. :/.

    I don't know why I get such sexual and emotional pleasure from crossdressing but I desperately wish it would stop.

    I was hoping that maybe if I explore my fantasies that they would go away. But the only woman I was into who was interested in sleeping with me while crossdressed had an STI, and I was reluctant to pursue her. She now has wanted nothing to do with me, making me even more depressed. I wish I can undo this but I can't. What can I do????
     
    #1 Snidi, Dec 4, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2021
  2. Rayland

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    Hello!

    I have some questions for you, if it's okay to ask them:
    Why do you wish to stop crossdressing, if it offers you that pleasure? If you like it and it's who you are, then it's impossible to stop that urge. You can only try and repress it, but that will only make you unhappy.
    You say you are gender confused in the title. Is this just a desire, or do you feel, as if you are in the wrong body?

    Since it's impossible to stop that urge, then maybe you can try and focus on something else, rather than focusing on crossdressing (that's a short term solution though);
    I think you should try and accept that part of yourself. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing. It's nothing shameful. Many people crossdress.
     
  3. Snidi

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    Of course, thanks for asking. I guess I wish I could stop because I do have gender dysphoria with the crossdressing and often feel like I wish I was the opposite gender. And yet I'm not ready to transition and live a transgender lifestyle due to the stupid societal stigmas and don't know how to manage those feelings. I suppose the crossdressing bothers me specifically because of the sexual component and these unfulfilled sexual fantasies that I haven't found someone to fulfill. :/
     
  4. Rayland

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    Thank you for answering. It's more clear now. Yeah that's a tough situation. There is no need to rush with the transition, these societal stigmas are stupid, but the most important thing is your own happiness and well being. Maybe you can find, some sort of hobby meanwhile, so you could have an outlet for your feelings.

    If you google it, then there are also dating sites for crossdresses, maybe you can find a partner through there. You never know.
     
  5. chicodeoro

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    Snidi, you sound like me a few years ago. I knew I had a predilection to cross dressing and hated it. I felt deeply ashamed and in my own head had it labelled as a 'kink', nothing else.

    It wasn't, of course.

    It took a major life trauma - losing my partner suddenly last year, swiftly followed by lockdown - for me to finally face up to myself and who I truly am. The penny dropped late one May night. Suddenly I realised I was a transgender woman, and always have been. I felt elated. And scared witless. Simultaneously. Oh yes! Oh f***.

    Whilst I don't want to project too much onto your situation it sounds like you've been going through some of the same thought processes that I did back then. Therapy will help, undoubtedly, if you can find the right person. Myself, I've come some way to untangling the strands of gender and sexuality in my own head - in short the two have always been mixed up because my body hasn't fitted the gender that's inside my head.

    Oh and f*** social stigmas. They just keep people in the closet. Live your life, be free.

    Beth
     
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