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I’ve crossed a line.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by masterofnone, Jan 1, 2022.

  1. masterofnone

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    I’ve always assumed I was straight, only ever gotten hard and masturbated to completion with girls. But today I was testing. I got triggered because I found a male actor attractive then I pulled up a image of him and an image of this hot musician girl and started masturbating, it did kind of seem like I would get a bit softer looking at the man but I was masturbating for like 40 minutes straight constantly switching images every 3 minutes or so. Then I took a quick break. I go back to the image of the man I start jacking off and then I came. As I came I sort of cringed and looked away from the image. I can’t say for sure that I was fantasising about him or what was going on. Am I bisexual now? I’ve never seen a man’s body and gotten hard but have with girls. But now this has absolutely terrified me. I can’t be gay right? But at the same time I could be bi? I’m so confused. Any bisexual men want to share how they figured out they were Bi?
     
  2. Chip

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    This is an OCD issue. Taking inro account your history, there is no indication you are bisexual.

    The problem with OCD is,nothing anyone tells you will convince you otherwise, because your OCD has hujacked your reason and logic centers.

    You likely need medication to manage the anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Please seek help from a therapist or psychiatrist.
     
    out2019, TinyWerewolf and BiGemini87 like this.
  3. masterofnone

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    Let’s say someone who you didn’t know had ocd said these things would you still be as easily willing to say I’m not gay? Just curious
     
  4. Sadness

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    So, you know me and you know that i went through a ton of things with ocd.

    And what i can say is that i already did exactly the same thing, i was once watching a hentai and i forcefully tried to look at the guys facial expression (bc in hentai male expression are very exagerated) amd masturbated to it. I was already aroused at the moment, and when i did, i orgasmed and went crazy like "omg, im gay" but the fact is that i was already aroused like you. And plus, you said you've been masturbating for 40 minutes and took a break when you comeback of course it will be easier to orgasmed you stimulated yourself and hold for a while.

    Do no, this doesnt make you gay in any way, is just like me, a obsessive thought that bc you orgasmed looking at a dude you are gay (you even told you were switching between woman and man, i did this a lot of times too)

    I wont say for you to test because that's the whole point of ocd, but if you do this after a while again you wont orgasmed. I think that the anxiety and nervouness is attached somewhat to our feelings, i say this because a lot of times that i would feel like my penis was getting hard i was very anxious and nervous and once i took a breath i would almost get flaccid again.

    And plus, just because you find a men handsome it doesnt mean you're attracted. This happened to me yesterday while i was watching a tv series and a pretty handsome guy, maybe one of the beautiful man i've ever seen in my life appeared. I started getting nervous and a feeling in my heart and thought that i could be attracted to him, but you know, when you are nervous you feel the same thing, and i was a little anxious and nervous. I just said whatever he's handsome anyway and continued watching.

    And everytime he would appear i would be like "man he is really handsome" not a single problem there.
     
  5. BiGemini87

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    I think Chip has the right of it: when I read your post, the first impression I got was OCD. The results of your masturbation while testing seemed forced, like you were rigging the outcome even though on some level, you knew it couldn't/wouldn't work without the image of an attractive woman to work with.

    I apologize if you've mentioned before, but have you been on any medications? If it's fairly recent, you might need more time before they become effective. If it's been quite awhile, you might need to look into an alternative medication.
     
  6. masterofnone

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    I kept switching. Took a break for like 10 mins, got soft then I open up only the image of the man and I orgasmed in under like a minute. Technically there was no woman involved unless you count before the break
     
  7. Chip

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    Here's the issue with OCD. Kinsey himself (he's been dead for about 40 years) could evaluate you, tell you you aren't gay/bi, and you would STILL insist that you are. That's how seriously OCD hijacks reason centers in the brain.

    As i said above, please see a therapist and/or psychiatrist. No amount of discussion or "testing" will give you peace.
     
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  8. Sadness

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    Yeah exactly. Ocd will never be accepted by the person who is suffering from it.

    But @masterofnone if you want some experience, not long timeago for some reason suddenly whenever i would think about doing a bj to a guy i would get hard, but once i masturbate i couldnt orgasm and probably lost erection, it was just a first reaction.

    Like i said it wasnt the image of the man that made you orgasm, was because you were already stimulating yourself. And plus, i've seen a lot of people om reddit that have ocd and said tjat whenever they would test with guys they would feel a rush of anxiety that would make them orgasm faster, and this actually happened to me before, funny is that it only happened when i was anxious, whenever i got relaxed and thought about the same thing i wouldnt feel arousal or whatever.

    So yeah i do think anxiety can give someone an arousal
     
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  9. out2019

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    If a guy said "I only ever gotten hard or masturbated with girls', yes I would tell them they are straight.
    As @Chip says no amount of testing is going the help you.
     
    #9 out2019, Jan 7, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2022
  10. quebec

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    masterofnone.....I haven't read any of your previous posts. I also have OCD myself. So here is my take on your post. First...nobody is or becomes gay or bi because of one masturbation experience. That's just not how it happens. Your sexuality is something that is with you from the time you are born even though many people don't realize that the feelings they have mean they are LGBTQIA+ for quite a while into their teens and even later. My situation is not typical in several ways, but I didn't accept that I was and always have been gay until I was 64 years old! :old_eek: Second, although I know nothing about your OCD, what I can tell you is that it can hijack your brain and convince you of all kinds of things that you would normally never believe or normally never do. I know, I've been there. Then it can cause you to do these things over and over. My OCD almost caused my everyday life to come to a halt do to the compulsions that it was forcing me to do. You have probably been told this before, so I'm just reinforcing what others have said. OCD can affect anything...including things concerning sexuality. I've never shared this before, but before I accepted that I was gay and got medical help and help from a therapist, when I was still intimate with my wife, afterwards I had to go to the bathroom and clean myself off so throughly that I almost rubbed my skin raw. I had to do this every time before I could go to bed. Of course later on we stopped being intimate as both of us had health conditions that made it impossible and after I had accepted that I was gay there was no possibility of being intimate. So my point here is that if you are gay or bi, it had nothing at all to do with that one experience.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag: