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Hi...

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by OliverRhet, Sep 17, 2017.

  1. OliverRhet

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    Bisexual
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    Hi, my name is Oliver. So anyway, I'm transgender female to male. I'm not out yet. I'm actually about to move in with my sister and her new family (the guy she's married to and his family) but I have one problem...they're highly religious and I don't know how they'll react to seeing me with my boy haircut and clothes, and me wearing an ACE bandage binder. Can anyone help me or give me any tips??
     
    #1 OliverRhet, Sep 17, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2017
  2. Quantumreality

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    Hello Oliver! Welcome to EC!:slight_smile:
     
  3. Robin x

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    Hey! Welcome to EC ^~^ I hope you enjoy your time here, and find answers to your questions :3
     
  4. seaBear

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    Hey Oliver! I'm new here too!

    As a fellow trans guy, I'd love to help you out! Trust me, I know what it's like to want to be open about your identity and shout it from the roof tops, but it's better to gauge your environment and their feelings on the subject before jumping into the deep end. Don't force yourself into a situation you or your family aren't ready for. If anything, just pass off your hair and fashion taste as just that; personal preference. That's how I did it, at least. So here's some tips on the subject:
    1. Bring it up in conversation: If something pops up on the news regarding gender rights, use that as a springboard to ask how your family feels about it. If they react positively, at least now you know they won't outright reject you. Alternatively, you can go for the classic "A friend of mine..." approach.
    2. Write a letter: If you're better at expressing yourself on paper than in person, then use that to your advantage! Write a well thought out letter to your family, that way that can't interrupt you as you try to explain and have no choice but to read the whole thing if they want answers. You can ask them later if they have any questions or they'll come straight to you. This method is a toss up, but it's one coming out method I've read about a lot. Alternatively, you could text them.
    3. Be prepared for questions: This is a pivotal moment in your life, but it also effects your family. You better be prepared to answer any questions they have about your identity. "How long have you known?" "How do you know?" "Are you going to get the surgery?" These are common but you have to be prepared for anything. Have sources ready for them; youtube videos, articles, personal accounts, anything! Better to be over-informed than ignorant.
    4. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst: We all have this perfect image in our head that our family will welcome our identities without a hitch and with open arms. However, that's not realistic. As heart breaking as the thought may be, you have to prepare for if your family reacts negatively. They may tell you you're confused, deny it, say you're sick in the head, kick you out, disown you, the possibilities are endless. In the end, they're you're family, and if they don't accept you for who you are, then they don't deserve you. Find people who support you before you come out to them, that way if they do react poorly, you still have a support group full of people who love and accept you. In the end, it's your body and no one can tell you what to do with it.
    On a side note, PLEASE DO NOT BIND WITH ACE BANDAGES. I can't stress this enough. If your hopes are to get top surgery some day, you could cause irreversible damage to the breast tissue and rib cage, which can complicate the process and effect the overall results of the procedure. I know binders are pricey, but it's best to save up the money and bind properly and safely than hurt yourself while trying to ease your dysphoria. Currently, one GC2B full tank binder goes for $35 USD, not including shipping and handling. Bargain shop if you have to, or better yet, if you really can't afford a professionally made binder, use sports bras. Either tighten the straps or double up. Anything is a better alternative than ace bandages.

    This was a lot more long winded than I expected, but I hope it was helpful. If you have any more questions or concerns, don't ever be afraid to hit me up! My inbox is always open. Good luck, buddy! :grin:
     
  5. GalleyGirl

    Regular Member

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    Hi and welcome to EC! There is a support and advice section of EC, why don't you try posting there? A lot of people have had similar experiences and should be able to give good advice:blush: