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Hello to you all. :)

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Osemni12, Nov 28, 2021.

  1. Osemni12

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    Hello all. I am 29 year old male from Bulgaria, but right now I am living in Spain. I was a semi-pro football player, but got an injury and now I dont play anymore.
    Also I had a fiance who I really loved, but she left me for another man. Now I am not sure about my sexuality. I think I might be gay. I fantasize about men. I have big desire for it, but I am not sure if it's just a fantasy, or I could be really gay. Also I like to wear womens panties, thongs, even bra, clothes and etc..
    So here I hope I can find out if I am gay or not and I hope to find new friends.
     
    #1 Osemni12, Nov 28, 2021
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  2. Rayland

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    Hello and welcome to EC! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Jakebusman

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    Hi welcome to EC
     
  4. TinyWerewolf

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    Welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    Well honestly I couldn't tell you for certain if you're gay or not based on that alone. It would be more of an educated guess since I'm not inside your brain experiencing what you think and feel. Since you mentioned your fiance and how much you loved her I think it's possible you could be bisexual. I've also seen a lot of threads here about sexual orientation OCD so it could be that, or you could just actually be gay. We're you actually sexually attracted to your fiance or just romantically (sometimes the two don't align, it happens)?
     
    #4 TinyWerewolf, Nov 28, 2021
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  5. Osemni12

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    Hello and thank you for your welcome and for your help! :slight_smile: I can say that I was sexually attracted to my fiance and romantically too, but there was times when I wondered how and what she feels during our encounters. :slight_smile: And I can say that before her, I didnt have much sexual desires towards women, they were only in romantical way.. And now, after her its pretty much the same, I dont think I have sexual desires to women right now and I dont know if its permenent or not. I mean if I by chance fell inlove with a woman again maybe I could be attracted to her in a sexual way too, but I dont know if that will happen.
     
  6. TinyWerewolf

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    You're welcome :slight_smile:

    Ok, based on what you've told me so far about your attration to women makes me think that sexual attraction comes after a romantic connection has been established in your case. If that's correct then you're probably demisexual. You can still be bi, gay, straight, or any other orientation on top of this, so now I'm going to ask you a few questions about your attraction to men. Are you by yourself when you're fantasizing about men, or are you in public somewhere and happen to see a cute guy and then start fantasizing about him? Is the guy you're fantasizing about a stranger?
     
    #6 TinyWerewolf, Nov 29, 2021
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2021
  7. Osemni12

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    Hey, thanks again. :slight_smile: So yeah, I am by myself when I am fantasizing about men and their.. parts, hehe.. And yeah, the guy I am fantasizing about is always a stranger. I do want to be the feminine guy, I mean I will only want to be like a girl and be bottom so to speak. And I fantasize about big, muscular and strong men..
     
  8. TinyWerewolf

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    Are the fantasies a recent development or have they been going on for a while? And did you have fantasies like this before meeting your fiance?
     
  9. quebec

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    Osemni12.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. You can ask questions in any of the Sub-forums by creating a new thread or by joining in a conversation-thread that is already going. You can also post a message on anyone's Profile Page after you have made at least ten posts yourself. If you have a question that is somewhat private you can always send a Private Message to any Staff Member. Normally Private Messages can only be exchanged between two Full Members, but a PM to a Staff Member is an exception. :old_wink: We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! :old_big_grin:
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  10. Osemni12

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    They have been going for a while and I did have them before meeting my fiance, yeah. I started having these fantasies when I was 15, 16 years old..
     
  11. PatrickUK

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    Welcome to Empty Closets and thanks for taking time to share what's going on for you.

    Our fantasies often reveal a lot about our true instincts and feelings. If you have been thinking about other men for a long time and have a specific sexual fantasy going on, I would suggest you pay attention to it and maybe explore what it might mean in reality. I know that may feel daunting, but the alternative is to suppress and deny it in the hope it will go away.

    Gay men are generally open minded and there will be some gay guys (top or versatile guys) who are willing to explore your fantasies with you. What you really need to think about is the future, beyond the exploration of fantasies. How do you feel about the idea of being gay? What would it mean for you to be gay? Would you be looking for a relationship with another man?

    It is possible to explore your sexuality without going into these deeper questions, but only in the short term. After a while it will be necessary to think more deeply about who you are and what you want and you may wish to use this form to do that.