Hi there, I was torn about wether or not to create a new thread or not in order to express some thoughts that have been bothering me over the past couple days. Due to my upbringing, I was told that being gay was wrong and immoral. I also have a physical ability difference and I have been depressed over the past twelve years (I’m 25). It has only been recently that I have begun to “come out of the tunnel” and become happier. However, I am noticing that my gender expression has changed since becoming mentally healthy. I used to not care about what I wore, but now I am beginning to wonder if that was because the clothes that were given to me were not my style. On Wednesday I bought a bunch of clothes with flowers and other brightly colored items in addition to some ripped jeans and a pretty sweater that would be considered more on the feminine side. I also bought some cologne from Sephora which was difficult because it was hard to smell behind the mask. I am confused because I’ve never felt confident before so is this who I am and I just never got the opportunity to explore? Does depression inhibit identify? I’m just trying to figure this out since this is kind of new.
When people are depressed, then they tend to not pay attention to themselves too much and even everyday jobs, like even just combing your hair becomes a major task, so I think it's very good, that you are experimenting more and trying new things and there is nothing wrong with that. Being able to express yourself the way you want is a wonderful thing.
Both depression and not being allowed to explore because of your family and living situation can stop you from really figuring out who you are. It's never too late to explore out who you are and who you want to be. I'm 28 and only started to explore gender expression and identity within the last year. You're not alone in that.
Well Aspen and Rdougall at least you are both young when you woke up for your genger expression. I didn't wake up to it until late 50 's. And yes depression just sucks the life right out of you. I know it has done that to me. I have woken up that I am gay and enjoy gender expression. I was lucky to have had a great gf that helped me discover it and explore it.
Hi guys, Thank you for all the replies and helping me explore this aspect of my life! I am continuing to work on the clothing aspect but I do have a couple other questions for anyone who can answer: -What hair product/gel would be easiest to put in? -How do I find a hair style that works best for me? As I come out of my depression and try to become the best version of myself, I am wanting to try different methods to feel comfortable with my body. I have wavy brown hair when it’s long. I don’t know if this will make sense but I feel like I could find a look I like but: a) I’m afraid of fitting the stereotype of a gay man even though I think that may be who I am deep down b) I don’t know of any magazines/websites that could help me identify how I want to look if anyone can relate, that would be awesome Thanks!
