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freedom, is there a solution ?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rayan04, Sep 8, 2022.

  1. rayan04

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    hello !

    i’m a muslim chechen girl, my family is very traditional and our people close minded. my problem is that i just turned 18 and i am so tired of not being able to wear what i like, so what can i do about it ? i can’t change their mind but i can’t go against their word either, because that would end up badly for me and me only. also don’t say that i can move out because i’m 18, i am chechen as i just said, so that is not an option, am i simply stuck and cursed ?

    edit : i want to precise that i can’t wear jeans at all, i am not asking for crop tops and shorts, not at all.. i can only wear dresses and skirts that are really long, even a little below the knee is becoming too much for them, i can’t stand this situation. i love fashion so much since forever, and i can’t express it.
     
  2. BiGemini87

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    Hello, @rayan04. I'm not sure how much help I can be due to cultural limitations, but I'll see what I can do.

    Firstly, I assume from your post that you still live with your parents; if/when you move out, how much control do parents still have of their adult children in your respective cultures? Is there a way for you to sit down with them and calmly have a discussion around your feelings--both on fashion, feeling like they're smothering you, and your imminent shift to adulthood? I understand not wanting to go against their wishes, especially if there will be backlash--but is it possible to talk to them? Do you have a good relationship with them where you've been able to communicate your thoughts on a subject without them becoming angry or defensive?

    If this isn't possible, if they aren't open to compromise or allowing you freedom of expression, then sadly I think the only way forward is to wait until you're in a position to move out, and then work towards that end.
     
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  3. quebec

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    rayan.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) :old_big_grin: when that becomes necessary!

    *****I am so sorry for the situation that you find yourself in. I'm not muslim, but I have read and studied enough about that faith to understand at least a part of your situation. I understand that a young girl of 18 years old has very little say in things such as fashion and generally must do as her parents say. You also say that moving away is not an option. Could that perhaps be better phrased as it's not an option now? Since I don't think that your parents will ever change, I can only see a way out for you is to leave. Since you can't leave now, can you start planning and perhaps saving money so that at some time in the future you will be able to leave? It's only an idea. I do hope for the best for you.

    *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: :old_cool:

    *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership.

    *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! :old_rolleyes: If you have any questions at all, you can post a question on my Profile Page or send me a Private Message.

    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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