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Feeling confused

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Patgar, Mar 10, 2021.

  1. Patgar

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    A few people
    So I finally came out to a couple of my friends because I was tired of being in the closet and even though it’s not all my friends it really did feel so amazing to let them know. It felt so amazing telling them that, thinking they wouldn’t support me and everything. But I came out to a friend which I liked a guy (he’s straight) He’s been my best friend for 4 years and overtime I started liking him. When I told him he was honestly not sure what to say at all he said that he supports me and everything and nothing will change “unless I act on it” when he told me that it honestly felt like he doesn’t support me? He avoids the questions I ask sometimes which also makes me believe he doesn’t fully support me like I feel it isn’t sincere? I know this is probably shocking to him and its going to take time for him to get used to it. But Is there something I can do? Or should I just let it be and hope overtime things are ok.
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    Welcome to EC.

    When you say that you told your friend did you just tell him that you were gay or did you also let him know that you also have started to like him? (I take that to mean that you are attracted to him)

    He may fully support your orientation but since he is straight your being interested in him would most likely make him uncomfortable and that may be what you are reading as not being supportive or sincere. You should probably let him know that you respect that he is straight and that you are not going to come on to him (and follow through with that).
     
  3. Patgar

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    Yes i did tell him that i like him and i am gay, ive liked him for such a long time. Whenever i bring up the topic of asking him if he is uncomfortable he kind of avoids the question and just keeps saying that he supports me, so i feel like he is uncomfortable, things arent really how they were before i told him. we dont talk like we really used to before. I told him i know that he is straight and he doesnt feel the same way and it will take me some time to overcome liking him. But after i said that he didn't really say anything else.
     
  4. QuietPeace

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    It is not even necessarily about him being straight. I have a friend who is bisexual. I asked her out and it made her really uncomfortable because she did not feel the same way. It took over a year for our friendship to recover and for her to be able to talk to me again. You need to let him have the time to recover and you need to make sure to only treat him like a friend and not a possible romantic interest.
     
  5. Patgar

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    Wow a year is such a long time.... yea im trying so hard to let him be but right now its so hard to just easily not think of him like that you know?
     
  6. LostInDaydreams

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    It’s not easy and it won’t happen overnight, but can help the process along by keeping yourself busy and giving him (and yourself) some space.

    Congratulations on coming out to your friends. :slight_smile: