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Everything feels so normal now...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ThxSens8, Mar 11, 2022.

  1. ThxSens8

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    And it's a little strange. I'm not sure why.

    After coming out to my wife as bi about a month ago, and she also realizing that she is bi, too, it's like nothing has changed now. That's kind of cool actually, but for some reason it feels like nothing is so different.

    My wife and my brother- & sister-in-law know, but that's it. And since I have no plans of actually exploring, it almost seems kind of pointless now.

    Coming out usually means a big change in the lives of most people. But for bi folks who want to stay in their current relationship, nothing really changes if the partner is accepting. Maybe I expected more?

    Anyway, that's just how I'm feeling now. Kind of like "Well now what?"

    One positive change that I'm still enjoying, is that I'm starting to pay much more attention to how I look and I'm noticing people notice me more. It's nice to get smiles or notice someone looking at you in public, whether it's a woman or man. Returning a friendly look/smile to a stranger is something I didn't have the confidence to do in the past.
     
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  2. buzzer

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    It looks like that "no change" had been a good outcome. Also, it sounds like it did a lot of good for your self-confidence :slight_smile:
     
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  3. bsg75apollo

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    I can relate. Ever since I said something to my therapist and realizing that I have total control over what I choose to do (what I choose is pretty much the status quo) I'm definitely like, "Now what?" For the moment the now what is just enjoying the sense of peace I feel.
     
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  4. PeachyGirl

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    I get this. After telling my fiance that I'm really gay and the us deciding to try to work it out, it feels like that conversation didn't even happen. I hate it! Lol but I'm glad you're feeling okay. Maybe you will get to explore that side of you in the future, there are so many different relationship structures now that can accommodate this kind of thing.
     
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  5. BiGemini87

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    It seems to be a fairly universal experience, so there's comfort to be had in that. :slight_smile: I went through pretty much the same, and the ability to exchange a quick, genuine smile with a stranger is definitely a plus. Try not to think of it as pointless; even if nothing changes in an obvious way, it has in another--it's allowed you to be honest about yourself, brought you and your wife closer, and has done a world of good for your self-esteem.
     
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  6. ThxSens8

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    I'm just wondering if there's anything I should change still.
    Maybe I should seek out bi friends?

    Health-wise I need to drink less for sure.
     
  7. BiGemini87

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    I mean, you could if you want to. But if you do, maybe try to seek out other people who share more commonalities than just your sexual orientation. Being bi may be an integral part of your experiences, but if it's the only common ground, it doesn't allow for much of a foundation to be built. I think all in all, the important thing is to seek out things that help improve the way you feel about yourself overall. :slight_smile:
     
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