Don't want to be gay

That's it? That's from a single study referenced in the article, even though the summary for the entire article concludes there is no hard evidence to support this. Even your quote doesn't match what you've been saying on this thread. You said you wanted to be straight in order to live a 'normal' life. But your quote doesn't show evidence that reparatvie therapy would support that. Sure, this particular study said "there was a significant reduction in homosexual attractions for some participants" but it also noted "even if it wasn’t matched by a corresponding increase in heterosexual attractions." So, for 'some' participants, they felt fewer homosexual yearnings, but they didn't feel an equal increase in heterosexual yearnings. That describes diminishing someone's sex drive, doesn't it? Not changing their sexuality?

 

O.K. Fair enough. (But faking love for the opposite sex isn't the same as actually feeling love for them if you are gay.)

What if you just remain celibate? Some people choose to remain celibate for life regardless of their sexual orientation.

Most people like sex because it feels good and the intimacy when you are in a loving relationship can be awesome. When you say you find sex between men gross, do you mean the sexual acts themselves or even simple intimacy between two men?

Dating can be hard for anyone of any sexual orientation, but many times it's a matter of persistence to find someone that truly can connect with you. And many times, it's when you are least looking for an actual relationship that you come upon someone special.

 

Odd article. I think the scientific evidence isn't complete yet, but it definitely seems that we are born with our sexuality or develop it at a very early age.

Regardless, let's talk about you specifically. Why are you gay? How did you become gay? You surely didn't choose to be gay. No one on this site 'chose' to be LGBTQ. In fact, I think it's safe to say that if you can find a sure-fire way to change from gay to straight, you and your method will be extremely popular on this website. (Seriously.)

Well, if your issue is that body waste exits out of the body parts involved in sex between men, then you must be turned off by straight sex, as well. Since the urethra that runs through the penis in men also runs through the vagina in women. What's the difference?

 

Well, there are various types of sex between men that don't require you to put your mouth on a body part that waste exits from. It's your choice. Not all men go in for anal sex or oral sex. And some women certainly prefer their male partners to give them oral sex, but, just as with male-male sex, it's up to the partners to agree on what they are both comfortable with.

So, it sounds like your main issue is really about being uncomfortable with some types of sex rather than being gay?

 

DAXIII

You should look at what you just wrote. You desire to become a straight man. Yet, you would not engage in a sexual act that most women find very pleasing. Maybe more so than intercourse. Women are not a sexual device to be attached to the end of your...umm.

I am a bisexual man. Gay or straight relationships require that you fulfill the sexual needs of your partner as best that you can. This requires attraction, commitment and most of all respect. I am not seeing that from you. A woman is not an instrument to use to become straight.

I know this is harsh language. But, I think you have a lot to learn about human sexuality. It is a gift to be cherished. If it is not possible for you to do this, then I really recommend addressing this in therapy and learning to accept what are natural, and human expressions of attraction and love.

All that said. Have you tried to really engage with another man. Kissing and sensual touch? The hottest gay experience I have had did not involve anything more than mutual touching and frottage. That might be a way that you can get to the deeper parts of an interaction without being "grossed out" by the mechanics.

To do this, will require that you acknowledge your sexuality and that pleasuring your partner is the most important thing you can do. BTW, this applies to straight or gay sex.

I apologize for coming on strong here.

 

DAXIII,

You kind of contradicted yourself when you said that “sexuality has but one use and that is reproduction” then said “anything that isn’t oral or anal isn’t sex.” Neither oral nor anal sex is about reproduction. The idea that sex is only supposed to be about reproduction comes from moralistic teachings. Honestly, though, most sex between people is simply about pleasure. Whether or not you think that’s moral, that’s really the way the world of sexuality works.


I wasn't broadening the subject. I was telling the truth. Not everyone enjoys oral and/or anal sex. For pleasure purposes, the issue is about helping your partner to a fulfilling orgasm in whatever form.


And regardless of what NickW said, sex between two partners is a mutual thing with both partners agreeing on what they are comfortable doing – otherwise it would not be pleasurable for at least one of the partners and that pretty much defeats the purpose. I know it doesn’t always happen that way, but in real relationships, that kind of give and take and interpersonal communication is essential.

And, as I mentioned before, what about celibacy? Could that be a simpler option for you?

 

DAXIII

I apologize for coming on strong DAX. When you mentioned in a previous post that you had no obligation to disclose that you are/were gay to a future spouse it hit a raw nerve with me. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

 

Do you actually believe that all - or even most - heterosexual sex is ONLY about reproduction?

 

And that's just semantics. What does that have to do with WHY people actually have sex?


Well DAXIII, if you really aren't even open to exploring how you can accept yourself for who you are, then there isn’t really anything more we can do for you here. No one can or should even try to force you to accept the reality that you seem determined to ignore and deny. At the end of the day, all your words of denial and lack of acceptance won’t change your sexual orientation. You know that. And it’s your right to live that way if you want to.

But maybe you could do us a small courtesy and if you ever figure out a real way to change from gay to straight, at least post a thread here to let the rest of the EC community in on it.

Good luck and take care.

 

DAXIII,

It seems like you are disagreeing with every single thing just to be disagreeable. If this thread has really just devolved into you having fun by trying to disagree with every post without you actually believing it, then there is no point to continuing this thread.

We want to help you. It's why we keep posting with you. But it's becoming apparent that you are unwilling to even consider what we are all saying and it's starting to feel to me like you are just trolling us here.

 

You completely dismissed Quantumreality's question on "why are you gay," and "how did you become gay?" If we in fact are not born this way or it's not naturally developed at a very young age, then how/why did we become gay? You deplore this aspect of yourself very much, so how did you become something that you hate so much?

 

I've been creeping on this thread for the past few days and I'm convinced this is just an attempt at trolling.