Growing up I did have a few male celebrity crushes, but it was mostly for their talent, personality, and I only thought their face was good looking. I did not care about their body. Other girls go crazy over guys abs or other muscular parts of their body but I do not. I'm just like meh. I did have crushes on guys in middle school in high school but it was because I found their face good looking and I wanted to fit in and have a boyfriend like everyone else. Also, with the crushes I had in school, I felt I was ugly and wanted a good looking guy to notice me. I imagined kissing my crushes to see if I liked them but I felt disgusted. When my parents joke about my crush being my boyfriend I felt disgusted but then confused like "Why am I disgusted? I thought I wanted to date him". I would watch straight couples on youtube and felt like I'm not sure I want to date a guy. I cannot see myself living with one. I never had the desire to kiss, hug, or be intimate with a man. I always knew since grade school age I did not want to be married to a man. Sometimes I think I am not attracted to men but then I think to when I was 5 and had a little crush on a boy and I was obsessed with disney princesses and princes so idk if that counts lol.
I mean yeh it doesnt sound like you’re sexually attracted to men. How does it feel when you think about kissing women?
Hello again, @Rina88! Taking into account everything you've said here, my two cents worth is that you're likely a lesbian. I can't say it with absolute certainty of course, but since your attraction to guys has been limited and surface level (finding their faces aesthetically pleasing, being disgusted by the idea of actually kissing/being intimate with a guy) it seems pretty conclusive. Paired up with these factors, your crush on a boy when you were little and your being drawn to princesses with their happily-ever-afters is likely a matter of heteronormativity: you were fed these messages at a young age (that girls and boys fall in love), so it's only natural that you'd think that was what you were supposed to do. But like I said, no one can really say definitely whether you're gay or not. All we can do is help guide you on how to reach the answer for yourself. I hope this helps!
Thanks for your reply. I agree with you with what you said about heteronormativity and when I was young being drawn to princesses. It's true that when girls are young they are taught to expect a man in their life.
