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Do I come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Kyla06, May 20, 2021.

  1. Kyla06

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi! I have recently come out to my friend group as bisexual and really want to tell my family, but I’m not really sure how. I want to tell my sister first as I know she will be supportive, but does anyone have any ideas as to how to tell her? I want to tell everyone, but have no clue how! Thanks!
     
    Lemony likes this.
  2. Lemony

    Full Member

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    Depending on how close you are, maybe sending one of those bi memes where you come out with it. Maybe just sit down with her and say I have realised I’m bisexual and just wanted you to know.
     
  3. quebec

    Advisor Full Member

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    Kayla06.....Hello and a very big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! I kinda liked the suggestion that @Lemony made....if your sister is the right age to understand a meme! :old_big_grin:

    The most important factors in deciding when to come out are:

    *****Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you.

    *****Don't come out if there is a real chance that you will be in danger. That includes being kicked out of your house, having no way to support yourself, having all privileges (phone, computer, friends, etc.) taken away, being verbally or emotionally abused as well as the danger of physical abuse. Waiting can be very difficult, but your safety and emotional well-being are more important.

    *****Being out in middle school/high school is easier now than it used to be...but depending on your school and your relationship with other students, it can still be a problem. Try to evaluate these things and see what you seriously think about the results of coming out would be. Sometimes waiting...even when it is so difficult...is the only safe way to come out.

    *****You might want to consider using a letter WHEN the time comes to tell your parents/friends. Coming out in writing means you will not be interrupted or face a barrage of questions that you need to answer immediately, in the heat of the moment. You get time and they get time too and that counts for a lot. There are some great sample coming out letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you to be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! An additional plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. Again, that can be a very big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can easily go bad. It gives the people reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had time to think about your sexuality...giving them some time to think about it too only seems fair! Check the letters out (see below)...they could be a real help!

    *****Also...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or a year from now, your parents and/or friends will probably have questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you're gay?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal dependent upon your family and friends...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of five or so questions with the answers already planned, you will be perceived as a more mature, serious person.

    *****COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php

    *****Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things are going for you!

    .....David :gay_pride_flag: