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Did I Get it Wrong?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by bsg75apollo, Jun 15, 2022.

  1. bsg75apollo

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    Do you ever start to think that you got it wrong? Lately, I have been feeling that in the rush of excitement over being open, I jumped the gun about being bisexual. I have been wondering if I'm really just plain old gay.
     
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  2. Cinnamoon

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    I've gotten many things wrong. But the beauty of labels is that they can change. Sometimes it takes time and experiences with different people to truly discover who you are. If you're bi, you're bi. If you're gay, you're gay. But either way, you'll always be you.
     
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  3. quebec

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    apollo.....It's of course a question that only you can answer. I have been married for 44 years this coming July 1st. I also have three grown sons, so obviously I have been intimate with my wife. Whether you are bi or gay depends on how you feel internally as well as your attractions. Many of us who are gay have been intimate with the opposite sex. You probably just need some time to let all of the excitement from coming out to settle. Don't feel rushed and remember that you don't really even have to have a label...it's all up to you and what you feel the most comfortable with! :old_smile:
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  4. bsg75apollo

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    I think that I mostly just needed to unburden myself of something that has been weighing on my mind. Vocalizing it or in this case writing it basically defangs it.
     
  5. mnguy

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    It's totally fine and no need for right/wrong. Maybe a range on the Kinsey Scale if you want to quantify it. Would be nice if everyone knew about that. Over time as more people would be willing to say they're Kinsey 1 or 2 we'd see not everyone is as straight as they claimed. Anyway, you're good whoever you find attractive. Good luck!
     
  6. Contented

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    It possible as you become more comfortable with your changing sexuality you realize that you might in deed be gay. I am saying in your case but in some cases bisexuality is a stepping stone to homosexuality. For me I called myself bisexual for a minute but intrinsically knew I was gay.
     
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  7. chicodeoro

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    But if you did, does it matter?

    Answer: as long as you don't hurt anyone, no.
     
  8. Gayhusband

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    Plain old gay is ok ️‍
     
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  9. Robyn mac

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    You didn't get anything wrong. You realized you are attracted to men. Your label is like weather subject to change. As long as you have acknowlegded your attraction which is a big step in its self
     
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  10. Pearls1984

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    I can relate to this. I first came out to some family and my husband as asexual, and I am still ok being asexual, but what I'm beginning to accept is that I am attracted to women. I told him this too. He's very supportive. Anyway, I don't think there's any right or wrong on this journey, I think it's just a process for some of us.
     
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  11. bsg75apollo

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    Going forward it probably won't be an issue. I just don't want to re-come out and issue a clarification. I also don't want to be an example of bi being a rest stop on the way to gay.
     
  12. Pearls1984

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    Damn, I hear you on that!
     
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  13. Jakebusman

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    If your sexaulity changes over time that's ok
     
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  14. Mirko

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    Hi there! It's totally fine also not to place a label on your feelings or attractions.

    While a label can provide some comfort, identity and belonging, it can also help to obscure other feelings or attractions that are happening in the background. If you become too attached to a label, it can start forming a prism through which you view everything else.

    It's okay to say: let me see where my feelings and attractions take me.

    At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what label it turns out to be. All that matters is that you are comfortable.
     
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  15. Nealg

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    Right!?!??!!!
     
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  16. Bastion

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    Great comments on this thread already. I wish I had someone telling me all those things when I was younger. That I can be whoever I want to be with no judgment and prejudice. That even if you are bi, straight, gay, whatever who cares as long you are happy and living the life that you want at the time.Sexuality may change but not really that much, it did for me a couple of times. Still not stable. All I know from a long time ago is that I can be and I am attracted to males and females in different ways and degrees. Sometimes I find myself more into guys and sometimes more into women. So most likely bi if you want to put a label on it. Even though am in long term relationship and I am faithful it doesn’t mean I don’t find other people attractive. It’s just is. But it makes things harder.
    The point is just follow your inner most feelings and be yourself and the rest will follow. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. (————-)This is what you are now. Live it and enjoy it.
     
  17. Contented

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    Your sexuality may indeed be evolving to gay, who cares as long as you are happy. Labels in the long run
    mean nothing. Be who you are and don’t worry about recoming out as gay. It’s your journey enjoy the scenery.
     
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