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Completely didn't expect this...(this gets long)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sesshomaru, Oct 26, 2010.

  1. Sesshomaru

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    Ok well short intro to everything. There's this guy I have a huge crush on in my 6th period class. He's a freshman, I'm a Senior that is the TA for his cooking class. Well up until now it's just been a little secret crush since after I came out to a few girls in the class they asked me who do I think is the hottest guy in the class. This crush builds up until a few new guys come to the class and while we're all eating what they'd cooked, the question comes up again. I gave the same answer except almost immediately afterward, said guy turns around from his kitchen and asks what were we talking about and while waiting for an answer he's staring fully at me and smiling. This was the beginning...

    Friday or so I had a pretty embarrassing day in that class. I'm a very tickleish person and I have about three spots on me to where if you barely touch them without me being aware of it coming, I seriously yelp louder than a puppy that just had its tail stepped on which doesn't seem right at all considering my deep voice. Long story short, someone comes up behind me knowing this and touches two. After the yelp the class went silent staring then burst out in laughter. This same guy comes to the counter across from me and stands there about a full minute smiling directly at me and blushing.

    Then comes yesterday. He asks to go to the restroom and about two minutes after he's back a girl I've become bffs with comes in and pretty much drags me outside with her saying she needed to tell me something asap. She knows about me liking the guy and basically repeats this conversation to me:
    Guy: Hey umm you're Wyn's friend right?
    Girl: Yeah...
    Guy: Are you two like dating or something?
    Girl: Maybe...why?
    Guy: Oh...I was sorta hoping you weren't...
    Girl: Oh don't worry, we're not. But why? Are you secretly bi/gay or something?
    Guy: If I were to say yes, why would you be asking?
    Girl: Uhh I sorta can't say.
    Guy: It's ok. I know that Wyn likes me and everything. But yeah I am bi.
    Girl: So do you like Wyn too?
    Guy: Sorta. I'm not sure yet."
    Girl: Okay. -heads to my class to tell me-
    Guy: Wait! You have to promise not to run and tell him just yet.

    Ok well we all know how that promise went. Now I'm confused. I have a good feeling he likes me seeing as how we both get nervous/blush around each other. When I got back to class after we even had our first direct conversation. Now this raises the question: Where do I go from here? He's 100% sure that I like him and I'm about 95% sure he has the same feelings for me. I'm a completely shy person when it comes to things like this, but should I make the first move? I'm not sure if he will and I know someone has to. I'm also unsure on how to go about making that first move. I rarely see him during the school day until 6th period and from what it seems, he isn't completely out yet. He's also not fully aware that I know he's bi, although I think he might have somewhat of a clue.

    So yeah that's basically everything. Any help on how to approach this or any ideas/suggestions/comments period would be appreciated.
     
  2. NoLeafClover

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    Say hi. Smile back. I don't think there's a foolproof way to go about it, but simple things can get you a long way. "Hey, what's up?" "How has your day been?" Small talk can lead to better conversation.

    Maybe a note is a less intimidating way to say some of the more bashful things? Anyway you both come off really excited - be natural/have fun!
     
  3. Iniquity

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    From what it sounds like, you have clear feelings there. But expressed in the wrong way, and they may not come out how you'd like them. I agree with NoLeafClover that you should start out small. Show in little ways that you care and see how that goes. If that works, or even if it doesn't, reassess how you feel and how much you want what you're perceiving. And if you think it's worth it, think about a way to let him know. I'd say to take a bit of time with this one. But the little things you do at first can show how much you truly care if you do get to the point you wish with him.

    Hope that helps a bit.
     
  4. Sesshomaru

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    Any ideas on how I could overcome being so shy around him? When I see him I can never even force myself to say hi. The most I'm able to do is smile and that's only because I can't help but smile when I see him looking at me. So far the only way I've been able to bring myself to speak is if he asks for something. Out here asking someone randomly, "How's your day been?" would get you quite a few uncomfortable stares...so yeah.

    I was thinking if I do decide to write a note, should I tell him about my friend letting me in on everything? I figure that could save the awkwardness after him finding out that I know he's bi, but perhaps not as well. Maybe something along the lines of "Hey [insert girl's name here] sorta told me about the talk you guys had. Do you mind if we talk after school/at lunch tomorrow?" I guess it'd be enough to get things going and getting the note in his backpack shouldn't be all too hard.
     
  5. Lexington

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    First off, your friend was told not to tell, but told anyway. That's kinda lame in my book. :slight_smile: But since you've started playing telephone (or Chinese whispers) using her, there's no reason not to continue. Ask your friend to tell him that yes, you're interested in him as well.

    Lex
     
  6. Sesshomaru

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    I would have her tell him but he isn't supposed to know that she told me. I talked it over with her and a few other gay friends of mine and we all pretty much figured that since I know he has a myspace that it'd be best to send the "note" there. If I were to get caught somehow slipping the note into his backpack since I'm too shy to hand it to him directly, it could end badly. There would also be the small chance that he might not take kindly to me sneaking around and putting a note in his backpack...

    Well seeing as how the myspace message has been decided on, could I please receive some feedback on if this would be considered enough to send? Here's what I have typed out so far:
    Hey umm I sorta found out about you being bi and all. I know [insert person's who I overheard tell him name here] told you everything too about me liking you as well, or you maybe figured it out from how things have been going in class. Sorry if this has you like freaked out a bit, but I figured I'd send you a message here because it would be pretty awkward saying it to you in class since I never see you alone at school. Maybe we could hang out sometime and just see how things go from there?"
     
  7. manoverboard09

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    I think instead of sending him a message you should just face the fears and talk to him in class. I think it'd be less awkward than sending a message and perhaps having the chance of him getting mad or ignoring it. Talk to him in class.. maybe ask him what he likes to do for fun, agree on one of the things he likes to do, and suggest that you should hang out sometime. I mean.. that's what I would do. But everyone does things differently :slight_smile: So just do whatever feels comfortable and natural for you!
     
  8. NoLeafClover

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    If you're calling it awkward to begin with, then it's gonna be awkward when you do finally have to see him! :icon_wink I say skip those kinds of formalities and just approach it like he's another guy friend. Of course you're nervous because you feel more than that....but that's what makes it exciting, in my opinion, lol.

    I really don't think you guys need to flesh out how you both came to know about each other - the important thing is that you both know, and you both have an interest! You can respect whatever privacy he might wish to retain from this point on.

    Ditch the apologetic intro and jump right into being friendly in person! :icon_bigg
     
  9. Spectre

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    Ask him out on a date? Why let chances slip through your fingers?

    PS: Myspace is a fucking cop-out. "Too shy" is a cop-out.