Does anyone have any subtle ways of coming out? I don't have a label yet, I'm 99% sure I'm lesbian but I'm finding it hard to come to terms with it - I do however feel ready to I guess experiment and get to know girls in a more non platonic way, and that's kind of hard to do if no one knows. I also have this intense fear that once I do come out, I'll realise I'm straight or something. I feel like I need to have a romantic experience with a girl to confirm it for myself before I fully come out, but as I said before it's almost impossible for that to happen if no one even knows, so I'm kind of trapped lol. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading!
Hello again, @efg78! This is a tricky one, because there are no right or wrong ways to come out--it's incredibly personal to each individual. Firstly, I think it's pretty fair to say that you're not straight, so no worries there; if and when you do come out, it won't change the way you feel towards people of the same sex. I do get what you're going through, though. I had some of the same fears that you do, but at the end of the day, the desire and need to be true to myself won out. If you're not ready to say you're a lesbian because there's still that small niggle of doubt, you can always come out as another label that separates you from being straight. I understand your desire to do so before exploring any relationships, and I think it's a smart move; that way it's not an obstacle that comes up once you've built a connection with someone, forcing you to either remain closeted or to come out when you're not yet ready to. As for methods? Take it slow, maybe focus on telling one or two people at a time. You can get some pride merch, like rings, pins, or earrings to subtly signal to others, and it might open up the chance at dialogue if someone is curious about them. Or you could write a letter to someone, arrange to meet with a trusted friend or family member and tell them over coffee, lunch, etc. You could off-handedly mention celeb crushes, if the topic ever arises--basically anything you can think of, so long as it feels right to you. You can also check out the Coming Out Stories sub-forum; I'm sure there are plenty of great, successful coming outs there that you can draw from. I hope this helps, and please don't hesitate to reach out if you need any help or input.
efg78.....There are some sample coming out letters here on Empty Closets. They may be something that you could use as an outline or a kickstarter for your own letter. Here is the link: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php Hope this helps! .....David
Hey I had that exact fear when I was starting to come out, I think it is reasonably common. I do however think it is really unlikely but having been through it myself I totally understand how you are feeling. What about seeing if you can find an LGBT group near you, as a starting point that would enable you to meet some other LGBT people without pressure or expectation.
