Hi, 19-year-old transgender guy here. I’ve been transitioning since starting college and am completely out to everyone at my school. My parents and extended family are in another state, and next month I’ll be flying home for Christmas. It’ll be the first time I see them since I’ve started T. Now, my entire extended family, save one uncle, is extremely transphobic, conservative, and Christian. Because everyone’s really religious, Christmas is a big family holiday. So I can expect to see pretty much everyone there, including my many cousins. I haven’t come out to anyone officially in my family except my parents—they’ve known all through high school and have sent me to many therapists in hopes of fixing me. Needless to say, high school was extremely rough for me. I told them that I would begin transitioning in college. Now, having been roughly 3 months on T, I’ve gained a lot of muscle mass, my voice has dropped, and I completely pass as male. So I can’t hide any changes. I’ll be flying back the week before Christmas. I’m thinking I should come out to my two closest sisters (who are both bisexual) a week or two before officially coming out to my parents. And when I say come out I mean insist that they use the correct name and pronouns, and tell my younger siblings to do the same. After that I plan to come out to my grandparents and uncles/aunts. I definitely don’t want to be around if they deadname/misgender me, so I’m wondering how I can handle that with the most tact. Should I say something like, “Please call me _________ and use my correct pronouns, or I will not associate with you anymore.”? I’m trying to communicate in a way that draws the least amount of attention to myself and is as undramatic as possible. I’m also trying to minimize the level of transphobia that will be said to my face or behind my back. I don’t want my parents accusing me of being selfish or hijacking Christmas. I just want to gauge if my extended family will use the correct pronouns/name in advance so I can plan accordingly (either a friend’s house to crash at or some other place). How much time should I give my family to digest the news before I fly out? And how do I make it clear that referring to me with the correct name and pronouns is uncompromisable while not being too callous? Thanks.