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coming out in a letter?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by taken, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. taken

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    Has anyone ever used a letter/text message to come out? What was your experience? I know it is quite impersonal, but I think it is the only way that I can actually do it because once I send it, there's no stopping it. It allows me to write my feelings in a clear and organized manner and gives my mother time to think before she responds with complete anger or disappointment. I will include a portion about why I've chosen to write a letter than to tell her in person as well as I would like for her to think past the initial shock and then we can talk about it if she would like. Just looking for advice. I'm trying to come out soon for my relationship and mental health sake.
     
  2. rainbowtheorist

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    Hi,

    I've never came out this way, but I agree with you about it. It might be easier for you to organise your thoughts and for her not to interupt you. It might be good to give her the letter but then have a talk with her about it the next day or so.

    Good luck with your coming out,
    Have a nice day !
     
  3. taken

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    Thank you. My mom always asks me if I'm dating anyone and I want to say yes, but she always asks at the worst times. Always around family or at times when the conversation isn't open for that type of discussion. I think I'll be able to talk about it easier once it's just said... It is the saying it part that is hard. I'll make sure to include that I want to talk about it when she is ready so that we can actually have a conversation without as much emotion.

    Thanks again!!
     
  4. YermanTom

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    I came out to my family (excluding my 92year old mother) via a short text.
    It went very well. I've always thought it's who you come out to and not how you come out!
    All the stories and advice I've heard is that you should come out only in a way and at a time that is right for you.

    Best of luck!
     
  5. lilla

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    I came out to a close cousin in a letter. She's very religious and I didn't know how she'd react, so it felt like a better idea to do it in a format that would give us both some space to be thoughtful in our communication. It went well in my case... she was able to take some time to think about what I had said before responding, which spared me from having to deal with her initial confusion. Once she was able to start coming to terms with what I had told her she took the time to write me a very honest and compassionate reply. We ended up having some very deep follow up conversations, which ultimately brought us a lot closer. I really think that writing a letter was the best option form me in that situation. If I'd told her in person I think that she wouldn't have known how to react and would have responded in a way that she really would have regretted later.

    In my opinion it's one of those things where you just have to follow your intuition and do what feels best for you at the time. I think it's completely fine to write a letter if that's what you want to do.
     
  6. confusedandi

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    I wrote my parents a letter and they called me a selfish coward xD but my parents are extremely homophobic. Hopefully your parents aren't like mine and the letter will be well received.
     
  7. taken

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    It is currently on a roller coaster. At first my mom was confused but loving, then the accusations of not being the same person, with different morals and values and the whole core of who I am has changed, now to the super awkward stage...
     
  8. redpandaman123

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    I came out through text to my mum about a month ago. She was very excepting and was happy I came out through text too save the awkward conversation