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Coming out - how long does it take?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by gritstone, Jun 14, 2022.

  1. gritstone

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    First post - sorry, very late to the party!

    I've just reached the point in my life where I feel comfortable with being gay, and (almost) comfortable telling friends and family who I feel need to know.

    I'm 65 yrs old. This coming out process (to my self) has taken at least 17 years - and maybe 65.

    Is this ok? or am I just a weak person?

    I look back at my upbringing (60's / 70's) and see many reasons why I didn't/couldn't find my true self.

    It's tough...
     
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  2. Gay Brett

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    I’m glad you are comfortable with being gay now. Took me a long time to get there as well. The way I see it is I am gay so I might as well enjoy it. You are not a weak for it taking this long.
     
  3. Contented

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    Of course it’s ok. Each person’s journey is unique. There is no judgement to be made about when you felt you could finally come out. Be glad that you have been able to come to terms with your sexuality while you can enjoy it! Relax and go easy on yourself.
     
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  4. zgaynz

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    Congratulations. Better late than never. That's how I saw it after it took me 30 years from the time I realised I was gay till I accepted I was. Many years of denial, suppression and guilt but it turned out to be the best thing for me. Some have worked it out and I confirmed it to one of them. It feels good to be gay.
     
    #4 zgaynz, Jun 14, 2022
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2022
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  5. chicodeoro

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    Coming out to myself? 45 years.

    And to others? Well, I'm two years in and I'm out to two thirds of my friends. Still got the other third, plus neighbours, acquaintances and work contacts to go...
     
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  6. Nealg

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    Took me a long time as well. But it’s really nice to finally accept and embrace it…I am gay and happy with it.
     
  7. Mirko

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    Hi there! Welcome to the community. :slight_smile:

    As other members have mentioned, every coming out journey is unique. At the end of the day all that matters is that you live the life that you feel comfortable with and allows you to be you. You have already overcome the largest hurdle - accepting yourself. Everything else, will fall into place and you will find the time and place to let others know. Your instincts will be your best guide.
     
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  8. Chip

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    A good friend of mine did not come out publicly until he was 69. He's now in his high 70s and happily married to a marvelous guy (about the same age) and happier than he's ever been. Nothing wrong with figuring things out in your 60s.
     
  9. McLate

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    Yes, of course it's ok and it doesn't mean you are a weak person. It's sounds like you are being a little hard on yourself and maybe you could do a little work on accepting that it's taken time to get to where you are but that's ok.
     
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  10. Gayhusband

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    Everything I’m reading is very relatable and inspiring. Thanks to all for sharing your histories
     
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  11. Jakebusman

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    Its never too late to come out and be your true self
     
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  12. Prisma

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    We all bloom in our own time.
     
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