So to me, this is pretty strongly leaning in the direction of not bisexual, not questioning, but gay. The beach scenario is probably clouded by what your conscious mind wants to be the case, while the other situations, which are actually sexual, seem pretty strongly focused on guys. Add to that the fantasies you described above, and it's really difficult to make a credible case that you are straight, or even bi. The question is, do you agree with that, and if so, do you want to do anything different? It's clear the current situation is not making you happy, and one thing to seriously consider is that it ain't gonna get better, and thus, do you think you owe it to your wife to take action *now* so that she can have the opportunity to find someone who can truly love and appreciate her in the way she deserves? The longer you wait, the more you delay that possibility.