I haven't really come out to anybody. I don't see any reason to. But I have a friend that I am pretty sure he is Gay, although he hasn't said as much. The reason I want to come out to him is because I have a crush on him. I am thinking, if I get the conversation headed in the right direction, should I just flat out ask him? I'm not 100% sure if I am bi or not, but it sure has been on my mind for some years now and I would like to experiment if I can find a suitable partner. What do I do then? I have experimented with finding a nice partner a few times in the past, but then just fell on my face and made a fool of myself. What do I do next?
Hello again, @trojan. Is this friend the same one you spoke of in your other thread? It's okay if you haven't figured out for sure what label matches you; it's a work-in-progress for many people. The important thing is that you're trying to piece together another part of the whole you. I think the important thing is to work up to coming out first, then you can move on to the next step (of asking him out/proposing some sort of arrangement with him). There is no right or wrong way to come out; all you need to do is what feels right to you. Maybe that means coming out in a handwritten letter or a text. Maybe that means sending a message, indicating you have something you'd like to talk to him about. Maybe that means seizing the first opportunity when you next see him. Take your time to decide how you want to broach the subject, then go from there. It can be nerve-wracking, but ultimately rewarding if done when you're most ready to.
you might try steering the conversation into the subject of LGBT and see what kind of reaction you get before you just come out and with your "crush". Might not end up as traumatic if you weren't reading into it correctly. Good luck!!
That is about what I was planning, maybe just gently bring up gay people in the conversation and see how he reacts. I''ll play it by ear. In the whole time I have known him he has never mentioned women or past girlfriends, even though he asks me about my past relationships with girls.
That is about what I was planning, maybe just gently bring up gay people in the conversation and see how he reacts. I''ll play it by ear. In the whole time I have known him he has never mentioned women or past girlfriends, even though he asks me about my past relationships with girls.
I think he is testing me. We brought up gay porn (I think he was testing if I watch it), and I talked about a guy I was attracted to, and we talk about sex (with girls) a lot. We have been on like 5 outings. He has brought up several times where guys had hit on him. And one he almost did it with, but claims he didnt. We hang out in a park, kind of intimate. We go to the same place every time, hidden where no one will bother us, and talk for a couple of hours. I don't know if I am supposed to make a move or wait for him. I mean, it's like 5 dates, right? Do I just do something like sit a little closer? Stroke his leg or what? Yea, I turned the conversation to LGBT in a gentle way, and then he sort of asked if I ever watched gay porn.He also commented on gay craigslist, so he must look at them. So anyway, we are past the conversation if he is comfortable talking about LGBT
I'd just be more verbally direct and honest with him. If he asked about gay porn just be honest. You might just ask how he would describe his orientation. Then if everything is what it sounds like it is, tell him you are attracted and see if it's mutual.
That's sort of what I'm doing. I'm more direct each time. Each time the subject of gay comes up several times in the conversation, and I encourage it and try to keep the subject going. I don't know if 5 dates are too much or too little since I have never dated a guy. I sort of practice in my head what I'm going to let out and what I'll keep in. I indicate that I am available every time I can. I'm hardly discreet anymore about how I am available. Yes, I have thought it is about time to outright ask his orientation, or maybe just ask if he has ever had a boyfriend before. He seems like he might have or is interested in trying it out because he is a lot more sexually adventurous than I am.
Gotcha. You should see if he also considers your meetings "dates" like you do. If he does that may answer most of your questions.
I'm going slow. Likely I will wait until I have a clear sign he wants to, or probably let him make the first move. Just because he talks about gay porn and gay Craigslist, doesn't mean he does it or even considers it, he might just enjoy talking about it. I will probably wait for him to make the first move. Just because he talks about LGBT doesn't mean he wants to do it with me. I asked him out on a 'date' or a 'meeting', or whatever it is we are doing. In my head I am practicing telling him I kissed a guy one time. Either way that turns out he will think it's a fun story and won't be weirded out. He will want details...details
