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Closeted members of extended family

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by IamIronMan, Apr 14, 2022.

  1. IamIronMan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Central Europe, from rural area, lives in city
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Since I live in rural and conservative area where there are no out LGBT folks, I have strong conviction that some of my older extended family members are in denial closet. Since I coming out to myself, I noticed some very unhealthy family dynamics being played out because of the narcissism that some closeted people have.

    I don't have very strong presence of those people in my life because I have somehow managed to figure this out, but I did fear about them thinking me as anything but straight. When I started figuring things and myself out I had quite much rage about these closeted people which could turn me into narcissist. Now I see that their life had been quite tragic and that they had no real opportunity of figuring this out. It is really sad.

    Anybody in similar situation notice this?
     
  2. BiGemini87

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
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    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's entirely possible, given what you've said about it being a rather conservative, unfriendly towards LGBT people area. Unfortunately, without any definitive proof, it's merely speculation.

    I can understand the speculation though, and wanting to understand their perspective and their behaviours regarding LGBT-specific topics/issues. I've done the same fairly often since coming out myself, wondering about certain members of my family and if perhaps it could be a factor towards some of their misery and mental health issues.

    It sounds to me that in reflecting on these things, you've come to a healthy realization that allows you to grant them with more grace than you might have before; regardless of whether they are closeted, I think this is a good thing, because in exploring the possibility, it has allowed you to empathize with them more.

    Hopefully they are deserving of said empathy. :slight_smile: