This is a spin-off from the shitty therapist thread. I know many of his statements aren't true and that they were grossly inappropriate for a therapist to say, as they came in the shape of commands regarding what I have to do. But there's this one thing I wasn't super sure about, and now hearing a psychologist's radical opinion on it makes me more hesitant. According to him, “casual sex is emotionally harmful, always and unconditionally” and that's a fact, not an opinion. He told me that any person that has ever had casual sex has done it for the wrong reasons and that everyone feels dirty and used immediately afterwards or sometimes in the mid to long run. Plus, apparently (again, his words, not mine) it's usual to become distraught because you want more from that guy and yet you're never seeing him again. And if you have anonymous sex, then somehow future sex in a relationship will not be as great as it could be because you've already shared it with many strangers (which reminds me of Catholic bs). That came after he was persuading me that what I have to do now is to find a guy, go for the “friends first” strategy and keep going from there. However, recently I’ve been gravitating more towards not doing any active efforts of meeting guys in a while (I'm burnt out after the online dating charade, and not at great place mentally), and when I do, going for “sex only” (not even “sex first”). So my dilemma is: Every gay man I know started having lots of anonymous sex after coming out and keeps doing it... And they seem to be okay. Plus, I'm having huge urges of doing that and I've come to the conclusion that I was just using excuses (STI risk, preferring "friends first," and the like) to avoid confronting that reality. It's certainly not happening while I'm in the current surge of uncontrolled anxiety, but maybe relatively soon. On the other hand, I've heard people say that anon sex is "meaningless" and that it's not a healthy way of dealing with one's problems. And the fellows that argue that monogamy is a "societal construct" and part of the same evil forces that push us inside closets, tend to have other radical opinions I disagree with. Not to mention that deriving one's sense of self-worth from a body count doesn't sound very healthy. So let's say that at a certain point I decide to use an infamous app, I only chat about availability and preferences, meet up, perform the physical action (with a condom for intercourse, of course), and say bye forever. What could possibly go wrong? Is it likely that I ever get emotionally attached to a stranger without getting to know him? Maybe a FWB scenario might be risky in that respect, but this... If I don't feel dirty when masturbating (not hating yourself is great!), why would that happen if I have company? Is it healthy to separate sex from feelings? Or is it impossible? Do all mentally healthy people find casual sex meaningless and undesirable? Or is it as valid as looking for something more “meaningful” if you know what you want? I honestly think that refraining from hoeing around at this stage of my life is the kind of thing I would regret within some years... And that I'm once more using my prejudices and insecurities for self-sabotaging. So it'd be nice to hear from folks that have been where I am.