So I finally told my wife that I'm bisexual. She's the first person (I'm not counting this forum!) that I've ever told. I didn't want to tell her this weekend, because we were having guests over, but she kept pressuring me to talk about why our sex life had gone from not often (1-2 a week) to barely ever skipping a day since the new year. Not even her getting corona kept me away! I explained at first that it was because I no longer felt anxiety and confusion around sex, and that I was more certain than ever in my attraction to and lust for her. I think it also had to do with my depression around being a life-long closeted bisexual had lifted. It went very well over all. However, when I told her that it had to do with admitting to myself that I was bisexual – the look on her face was devastating. It was like her world had suddenly shattered. I was surprised that she didn't suspect anything at all. I quickly explained that I had never cheated on her and that I did not want to cheat on her – which is the truth. I couldn't handle cheating, it's just not me. Thanks to @BiGemini87 I was able to use the great line that attraction and action are two different things. Also thanks to this forum, I had many important talking points and was able to dispel some of the common myths about bisexuals. One of the first things she asked me was if I thought Freddy Mercury was hot, hahaha. She was happy I said yes. The idea took some getting used to for her and I think she's still dealing with the stepping-stone-to-being-gay myth, but I explained this is a common falsehood. Anyway, I'm very happy that I told her and she can understand this aspect of me. I don't have to be embarrassed about watching something a little queer, and since I'm more comfortable with myself and understanding of myself, our sex life is much better. I guess I said that already... Thank you so much for this forum. Being bisexual is so confusing. I can't believe that I've gone 40 years of my life asking myself if I was straight or gay, when there was always a perfect word that lies in-between. And it defines me perfectly. Well, that or pansexual. I'd take either. This site has been a great confidence booster and it helped me to be ready with the information I needed. I knew I was ready to come out when I stopped visiting this page using the incognito function!
Congratulations! I'm so glad to hear it went well overall. I'm sure it was a bit shocking for her, but I hope as she processes things and you open up more about your bisexuality, things continue down a positive track.
Overall, she's mostly worried about whether this means that I "must" have a same-sex experience in order to be happy, but she's also now questioning her own sexuality, because she says she also very often finds women erotically attractive and could also see herself in a relationship with someone of any sex if there was a connection. She is now wondering if she is bisexual, too. She never gave it much thought. Just thought it was normal. I on the other hand have always been nervous about the question of my sexuality.
It's only been a handful of days since I came out to my wife and we're already all-good She is basically accepting that she is also bisexual – though she may not adopt the label – and so she's totally okay with it. I'm still a bit worried about coming out to my boss, who is gay, and the other gay people I know through him. Maybe I'll ask him at some point something like "do the gay people you know accept bisexuals?" and take it from there...
Just out of curiosity, why would you need to come out to your boss? He's not entitled to that info, but I do yjink you asking him that question would be a good way to start.
