I met with a friend for coffee the other day fully intending to come out to him. I was about 90% sure I would go through with it, but wanted to play it by ear because I wasn't sure that the opportunity would present itself. The friend I wanted to come out to is a work friend, who has become a close personal friend after we bonded during his divorce and because my kid babysat for his kid. I was super nervous, and I'm sure I fumbled it a lot, but I actually said the words "I'm gay." His response was classic. He put his hand on mine and said: "Pharmaguy, it's ok. I kind already knew. And this changes nothing between us." He understands my orientation and how it applies to my current marriage to my wife (who knows about me and is supportive - she is bi leaning gay herself.) That was one of the things that I worried most about because I wasn't sure that he would get that. But he said, "there are all sorts of families out there, and they are all valid." I couldn't have asked for a better response. And I'm so happy.
Thank you. I have been lucky in that most of my coming out moments have been positive. I have only had one negative one and it was more that it was met by radio silence than anything else. I have only been out to my wife for about a year and a half so I'm making slow but steady progress in assimilating this part of my life.
I've recently come out to myself but no one else. I'm married myself and not sure when I will be able to speak with her? How did you wife reach?
It's absolutely wonderful that you were able to muster up the courage and come out your friend. Having that support, building on the support you already, helps with starting to live your life without the feeling of needing to hide, or being untruthful to yourself.
She kinda already knew - I had come out as bisexual to her a few years before, but in May of 2018, I came out as 99% gay. I am still attracted to her, but she is the only woman that I'm really attracted to. She has been very supportive of my journey and I couldn't ask for a better partner than her in my life. I also came out to my teenager about a year ago and it was no big deal AT ALL. I swear millennials and Gen Z will save us from ourselves because they just don't care who you love or who you're attracted to.
Hi Pharmaguy, I’m glad the friend you came out to was so open and understanding about your orientation, and also your relationship with your wife. And I agree with you about the younger generations. My kids (young adults, out of the house) were completely fine with my bisexuality. Their only concern was they want my wife and I to stay married (which is what we want too).
Sounds like you are in a good place know. Good for you. I only hope my coming out will be close to your experience.
