Apologising is supposed to make things better. But almost all of the times, I find that apologising makes things worse. Ex. When I apologise a friend after an argument, I don't think they'll appreciate that and think I am a generous, etc person. They'll think it was all my fault and they were right in the argument. So, They'll feel bad about me and expect more than just an apology. Also it doesn't make them feel good either, I think... There have been times that a friend apologised me, for long problems/arguments between us that had made me suffer. But I think somehow it didn't have positive effect and even made me feel worse. When, In work, I think I wasn't good enough, I don't apologise, Because I think it is a sign of weakness. They'll not appreciate it. They'll think I'm afraid of getting fired or something. And they'll probably try to misuse me. So, Why apologising makes opposite effects? Or am I wrong? Maybe I expect too much from an apology? Apologise for the lengthy post.
Vega222.....Hello, and first of all, it wasn't a long post! From my experience, an apology is mostly an effort for me to correct something that I have said or done that wasn't appropriate. If the person that I am apologizing to doesn't accept the apology, I have still cleared my conscience. At that point, I'm done and if the other person is still upset...it's their problem, not mine. I can't undo what was said or done, I can only express that I'm sorry it happened. After that, it's out of my hands. Holding a grudge against another person can be emotionally damaging. If my conscience is clear then I am finished with the situation. The rest is up to the other person. We can be kind and polite to the best of our ability, but if the other person refuses to accept that we can only go on with our life treating them as kindly as we can in spite of their perhaps difficult attitude. .....David
