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Am I the Only One Who Thinks the Community can be Really Hostile Sometimes?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Random Ross 1, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. Don’t get me wrong. I really do love being a part of the LGBT community. Y’all are great. But some people can be kind of hostile, and I don’t know why. I made a post somewhere about an adult movie star (who killed herself recently after getting hate when she posted about not wanting to perform with a bisexual guy), and I basically said that while she shouldn’t have gone to twitter and shamed the person, it was still super messed up how she recieved so many death threats and messages telling her to kill herself. I said that while it’s okay to criticize, it’s never okay to send death threats, and anyone who sent anything telling her to kill herself should be ashamed. What I got in return was a bunch of hate, and messages saying I was just ignorant and privileged, and my whole post was “bullshit” quote unquote. I ended up deleting the post, because I kept getting messages like that. I love y’all, but sometimes I feel like the community’s at war with itself. Why can’t we all just get along, and if we disagree, just be civil about it? I know it’s not all or even most of the community that does this. Most of you are super nice and we could totally be best friends anytime. But whenever I’m with my other LGBT friends and the conversation turns to politics, I try to change the subject as quick as I can because there’s so many different strong opinions and it always turns into an argument. I dunno. I just had to vent this somewhere, and you all are pretty nonjudgmental.
     
  2. Shoei Loei

    Shoei Loei Guest

    I actually feel this way as well. I try to avoid talking about politics or anything controversial at all, and that’s why I don’t like to post in certain parts of EC either. Anytime I have, I’ve received unecissary hostility from others. It’s easy for people to be jerks behind a keyboard. I don’t understand arguing about certain things in that way, honesty it doesn’t seem to accomplish much, other than having someone feel crappy after the interaction. I try to keep my opinions to myself if I feel unsafe, and I try to be positive with others as much as I can. That’s just my nature; maybe that’s the teacher part of me who doesn’t see the point in anger or aggression being used towards another period. I mean, I get it. We’re humans, we have bad days, we lose our cool, we lash out at others and get pissed off sometimes. But I find that people tend to overreact and take out their anger towards others in a hostile way...not just in the LGBT community, but as a whole. Thinking before speaking (or typing) goes a long way.
     
    #2 Shoei Loei, Dec 9, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2017
  3. Creativemind

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    I get that biphobia is a real thing, but reacting back with death threats is not ok. I agree with you. We will never educate someone if we react with more hatred, we'll just make them feel justified in their beliefs.
     
  4. Flowey

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    Well I was accused of being a racist once. It was quite unexpected but at the same time, fun. The guy was really *triggered* haha. I myself said some hurtful things that I'm not really proud of. After all that I just decide to forget about it, not getting involved, nope, not worth the emotional trauma. Life is hard already. I don't want that negativity in my body.
     
  5. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    I think part of the problem might be that apparently (I don't know if this is true or not but I've seen it being discussed here) forums and maybe the internet in general tend to attract people on the autistic spectrum or who have other issues understanding what is and isn't socially acceptable.. Those messages might not be a fair representation of "the community" as a whole.
     
    #5 fadedstar, Dec 10, 2017
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  6. Creativemind

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    Uh, that's ableist. Autism has nothing to do with throwing out death threats. Throwing out drama and death threats has more to do with having poor morals and hating other people.
     
    #6 Creativemind, Dec 10, 2017
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  7. Shoei Loei

    Shoei Loei Guest

    Yeah, I don’t see what ASD has to do with it tbh. I just think it’s easy for people to hide behind a keyboard, faceless and unaccountable, while they throw shade at other people. Most of the time I find that people are deliberate in how they attack others, and any kind of social media is a huge breeding ground for those types of behaviors. It’s easy to take your frustration out on others, especially if there aren’t any repercussions (like being on the internet).
     
  8. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    It's not though. I'm not saying all autistic people are ill mannered and likely to throw out death threats. But it is a fact that autism interferes with people's social filter especially when talking about subjects they are passionate about. Also I did specify that I wasn't only talking about autism.

    I'm sure I'm not the only one to suggest a link between ASD and the kinds of people that are drawn to internet forums. In fact I know I'm not the first person to mention it here. And the reason I brought it up is because OP was talking specifically about weird impassioned responses they'd received on a forum whilst trying to talk about the woman who killed herself. It was those people I was focusing on more than the initial media storm on twitter that led to the woman's death, although those people clearly also had some issues.

    I'm not trying to tar all autistic people as anti-social. My intention was to remind OP that not everyone is as "advanced" socially. It's something I think is worth bearing in mind is all as it's easy to take that kind of thing personally.
     
    #8 fadedstar, Dec 10, 2017
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  9. Creativemind

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    It's offensive because it links autism with terrible, criminal behavior like rape and death threats online. It's true that people with autism have difficulties with social norms, but difficulties with social norms does not mean you commit violent and criminal acts.

    People with autism may say something weird without realizing it. They may go on and on about computers when somebody doesn't care. They may misread your body language. But they are not going to threaten to kill you, they are not going to rape you, they are not going to urinate on the public sidewalk. People with autism either know well enough that death threats are wrong, or if they are very severe low functioning, they wouldn't even know what a death threat even means, so wouldn't say it anyway.

    I am not disagreeing that people with autism make social mistakes, they just don't make criminal mistakes. And if they do, the autism part isn't an excuse for it.

    The majority of people I personally know who give death threats online are bisexual and transgender (tumblr specific). Should I say then, that "don't worry, transgender people are attracted to these kind of forums" just because there was a death threat? Or would that be transphobia?
     
    #9 Creativemind, Dec 10, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
  10. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    I don't think it does if a person uses common sense when reading my post. Sorry.
    I don't think you can prove this one way or the other, just because someone doesn't fully understand what something means it doesn't make them incapable of saying it. So I respectfully disagree, sorry. Especially when we're talking about the grey area between high and low functioning.
    People make mistakes whether they understand social norms or don't whether they are criminal or not is kind of by the by.
    In my opinion it's not the same. Being autistic and LGBT present different challenges which each require differing responses. Neither is my intention to discriminate against anyone or make anyone feel less than human. My intention was to raise OPs awareness that such people exist in the world (and it's especially hard to say one way or the other when we're talking about faceless forum accounts) and to maybe take comments that seem overboard with a pinch of salt.

    I'm sorry if I offended you.
     
    #10 fadedstar, Dec 10, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2017
  11. Shoei Loei

    Shoei Loei Guest

    This is all you guys...I’m staying out of this one. One reason why I personally feel unsafe in certain social situations (like arguments) is because it affects my anxiety quite a bit, and I have a hard time reading emotions through text (so most online discussion & arguments tend to register as angry interactions to me). Same reason why I tend to use a lot of emojis & emoticons so others can gauge my emotions too lol. Anyways though...I’m just going to agree to disagree and stay as neutral as possible with this topic. :slight_smile:

    I will say this though...there are good people and bad people in all walks of life. Regardless of sexuality, gender, race, age mental/physical/emotional/neurological health, disability, etc. Some people, regardless of who they are, say some messed up things to others, while some people are more supportive and open-minded. Regardless of who someone is, that doesn’t excuse them from making death threats or other violent statements at others, just the same as that might not be the cause of such hostility either. :slight_smile: