There’s a guy I’ve been seeing on and off for almost 10 years now. I seen him regularly but then I ended up with someone else and I moved away from my hometown with the family when that relationship ended. I would see this guy each time I visited home. A few years ago, we were talking and he mentioned the possibility of wanting me to be his bf. I moved back home and saw him a handful of times before he ended up with someone else. His relationship lasted til last summer when he hit me up again and we’ve been seeing each other regularly again since. He mentioned that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, but if he were, it would be an open one. Perhaps he was just saying all that where he was just getting out of a relationship. Just recently, he took me out for lunch and it felt different being with him in that manner, but in a good way. He mentioned he’s trying to get out a lot more and wants to do that with me, even saying he may wanna treat me to a movie soon. I wanna think that him and I are now dating, while at the same time, I wanna let this play out and see what happens, no matter how much I like him. What’s some advice you guys can give me on this??
Honestly, the best advice I can give is listen to your instincts, be careful and keep your guard up. Given the little context that can be gleamed from your post, there could be something else going on...I could also be wrong. And it is also a possibility that you could be being used. If I were you, I'd definitely be very cautious and careful...
Reading this I recall the times when I wasn't obsessively interested in someone, but enjoyed dating them for a while because it was better than being alone. It gave me a reason to take care of myself, to eat out at restaurants, maybe pick up some "benefits" now and then... I didn't have to plan my weekends and I didn't shop as much to fill the empty void. And others played the exact same game with me. When they suddenly stopped calling, I wasn't surprised. It wasn't a problem so long as we both knew what was at stake (ie, not much). It only became a problem if one person was expecting more. Then that person felt "used". In your case - I can't tell how emotionally invested either of you are. But what's the harm in "using" each other for a date or two, to find out if there's a deeper interest ? Keep your options open, and the worst that can happen is that you drift apart again. Then you might conclude that you're really just meant to be friends.
Nothing to lose by exploring things, but I would keep expectations low to nonexistent. 10 years is a long time to know someone without being in some kind of relationship if the attraction were mutual, but I suppose stranger things have happened. Quite honestly it sounds to me like he was mainly interested in you when things weren’t working out for him (i.e. he sees you as a backup). Ultimately, I would say be open but protect your heart.
