A new beginning

It’s been awhile since I have posted. A busy summer has led to starting a new relationship, I think. At a friend’s summer party I met a wonderful younger man that I hit it off with. We exchanged numbers but based on the fact I am 18 years older I wasn’t expecting anything. However he contacted me and decided to meet for dinner. We had a great time with dinner and drinks afterwards at a waterfront bar. It turns out we have a fair amount in common and 4 hours disappeared in no time. Since then we have been out quite a few times and have been intimate as well. It has been an incredible experience for me and hopefully for him. He is very “ gay” and so comfortable in his own skin. He introduced me to a friend of his as me being his boyfriend. Hearing that made me feel absolutely fantastic.
I am leery however due to our age difference, I am afraid of getting hung up on him and then us breaking up. I know he wants to pursue a more serious relationship and I am hesitant. Am I being overly cautious or just stupid?

 

David,
Thanks for the sage advice. The relationship presents some challenges for sure. I love being with him and yet I feel self conscious with him at the same time. I worry, I am sure needlessly, that someone will see me as some creepy older guy lol.
Or worse that he is interested in me only for monetary reasons. Totally untrue as I am financially secure, he is even more so. Perhaps I am overthinking this, and I just need to go with the flow.

 

Nickw we have indeed discussed it. He keeps telling me it’s simply a product of my generational upbringing. Working on getting past my seeming hang up on our age difference.

 

We have made it official we are boyfriends. It feels wonderful to be able to say I have a boyfriend again. While so far we have not moved in together we have discussed it.
Just recently we attended an event as a couple and the feeling was awesome. It felt so right! For the most part I am over being concerned about the age difference. My boyfriend for lack of a better descriptor is very gay and effeminate at the same time so confident in who he is. I love that about him as he does not compromise who he is for any reason. More and more he has been encouraging me to do the same. I don’t know where this relationship might lead but right now it is so incredibly fulfilling and above all else funny again. Feel like a teenager and more than ever so glad I am 100% gay!

 

Chip one thing we have been doing religiously is communicating honestly about how we feel as we develop our relationship. His friends are obviously younger like him and at the beginning I felt the odd man out. After we discussed it he made an effort to include me more in the conversation and activities. Even in the bedroom we have both been vocal about what works and what doesn’t quite hit our hot buttons. It has made sex so much more sensual, erotic and gratifying beyond my dreams. Satisfaction in a relationship means open honest communication. I am learning that lesson.

 

Just wanted to provide an update. Our relationship has been progressing nicely. We still maintain separate residence however we spend almost every night together. Talking about moving in together soon. It is exciting as more and more I feel we are a couple. I love being with him in public as proud gay men. It’s a rush to be able to be who you are without compromise. We are not in your face gay men but rather a loving couple that happens to be composed of two men.
I feel like I have won some wonderful lottery waking up every morning next to this incredibly sexy, warm, witty passionate guy.
I marvel at the fact I was every with a woman, it’s seems so foreign to me now. I am sometimes embarrassed to admit I was ever “straight” as I feel so gay. Gay friends I meet are shocked to hear I was in heterosexual relationships. Even for me it’s seems like a different lifetime ago. I have never been happier or more at ease with my sexuality as I am now. I absolutely love being gay without exception. This relationship has allowed me to grow into my sexuality more fully and more honestly. I still pinch myself wondering how I got so lucky.

 

As time goes on age becomes less an issue for me. It certainly doesn’t seem to be one for him. The only observation I will make is that now that our group of gay friends skew a little younger I detect some differences. There seems to be some real bias against straight people in the younger gay men I meet. There is almost an arrogance in them that gay is so superior to heterosexual. Almost all have never been in any kind of straight relationships and find it difficult to understand how I ever was in a straight relationship. I have even heard the expression they are so glad they have never been breeders. This attitude does bother me to some extent however I can say without question I am enjoying this relationship even more than my first and only previous one. I think because I am more relaxed with the idea of being in an openly gay relationship. We are not hiding anything and in many ways that has afforded me even greater freedom in expressing who I am. Being able to immerse myself freely in gay culture and no longer pretending to be this stereotypical masculine man I have experienced a freedom and an intense sexual awakening I never expected . I can be who I always was but had buried so deeply in shame, doubt and homophobia. My journey continues and I consider myself to be so incredibly luck!

 

We pulled the plug and moved in together as of the first. Truly exciting time as we start to develop our various patterns. It’s early but it is such a joy to be living in an intimate relationship with another man in the same household. It seems so natural. We have some learning of each other’s habits to do for sure but that’s to be expected. Never thought I would do it, but life has a way of continuous surprises.