Howdy folks , so lately I've been having these dreams involving having sex with women and can remember stuff what's going on in the dream quite clear. As in what type of sexual stuff we are doing. With men i am noticing a good looking man in my waking life. But not really desiring them sexually. And also questioning my sexuality! Anybody any thoughts on this or even experience with this ?
A small part of my awakening is owed to sexual dreams, so I understand your curiosity here. But it's important to understand that dreams are not always literal (and sometimes, a cigar really just is a cigar; that is to say, sometimes our subconscious minds create strange, vivid movies that have no real relevance, other than to show us something that's been troubling us/weighing on us without our even realizing). If the dreams are happening alongside a particular feeling in waking life, then of course it might be an indicator. It's entirely possible you're not attracted to men, but merely find them aesthetically pleasing--but it's also just as possible that you are experiencing attraction, but compartmentalizing it because you're struggling with how to feel about potential same-sex attraction. This is something you'll largely have to work out on your own, but maybe some questions to ask yourself will help you get there: -when did you start questioning your sexual orientation? Has it been on/off over a long period of time, or a recent development? -what triggered it? Did something specific happen, or did you see/hear something that planted the idea in your head? -before the questioning began (perhaps even afterwards), how did you feel about other people in same-sex relationships? How do you feel about it now? -when you consider the possibility of being other than straight, how does it make you feel? With any luck, asking yourself these questions (and ones like them) will help you arrive at your answer. There's no rush, however; take all the time you need to process things and above all, be kind to yourself, whatever the conclusion may be.
Hi BiGemini thank you for getting back to me with a detailed response. Now when you say a particular feeling in waking life what exactly do you mean ? Well you will probably say there's your aha moment , but what triggered it was actually during a date a couple of years ago with a woman , having slept with women previous to this moment, it was almost a fleeting thought you know, but kind of sent me into a panic. Responding to your question about how did I feel about other people in same sex relationships I mean I guess I never really felt anything about them as in I was never like oh god I was that was me etc. And just seeing your other question tbh It's just more so a need to know answer if that makes sense just driving me mad a bit but have been going to therapy and that is helping me with the incessant questioning constantly. I mean I would just like to pin it down you know. I have a decent couple of days and stuff but for example then I go into a cycle of going on this etc. I have also quit porn to see where that will take me. I'm looking on this to see what is same sex arousal you know , there's a couple of people ( men ) one is a person at work who I see almost like a uncle or father figure and I get this odd feeling trying to distinguish if it is arousal or not. It's almost like I'm intimidated around them if that makes sense or want them to think I'm cool. But it's almost like this tingling sensation and my cheeks start to feel warm. I'm really not sure if its arousal or not. I get it talking to some people. But trying to find out what the hell it is you know
Sometimes, sex dreams have absolutely nothing to do with sex. They can be highly symbolic for things like creation, intimacy, or incorporation of a trait that the other person represents.
Hi bsg75apollo, Too be honest I do miss the intimacy with my previous partner just moments come into my mind of just holding each other watching tele or lying in bed wrapping my arms around her I know it sounds soppy but yeah can't help missing that sometimes , even during masturbation fantasies thoughts like holding each other during sex have popped up sorry if it's tmi !! The last bit you mentioned , incorporation of a trait that the other person represents could you expand on that a little ?
say you were having sex with a friend in a dream. Likely, it would not be about an attraction to them. Maybe you admire their self-confidence, creativity, selflessness, or any other characteristic that you wish you had more of in you life. The dream is about bringing that into your life.
