The label that define how I feel in the best way are homosexual and biromantic. However, it still sounds wrong like it’s not totally true. But tbh every label sounds kinda wrong to me and these two sounds less wrong. Anyway, I’m still happy to understand better what’s happening.
Congrats on finding a label that fits you. I think it's normal that it can feel a bit wrong - our experiences are often so unique that they don't accurately fit in any of the labels. If I were to describe my orientation, the word "bisexual" would be most fitting but it still doesn't feel quite right. Perhaps in the future you will realize that a different label fits you better. And that's okay. Labels are just tools to communicate who we are to the world without having to explain everything in detail.
I also identify as gay but biromantic. It took me awhile to understand it, but that's who I am. The interesting thing about labels is that they can be fluid and we can figure them out over time. I have a romantic love for my wife who I love dearly, but don't have any sexual desire for. We enjoy cuddling and quality time and sending each other sweet loving texts. We have an open marriage and I enjoy time with my boyfriend who is my sexual partner. My wife supports my relationship with him and has even gotten to know him a little bit. She is free to see other men but hasn't found anyone she really likes. I feel like I am a very lucky guy who gets to enjoy who he is as a biromantic gay man. Some of my gay friends don't get it but the bisexual people I know seem to totally understand. Life is not always simple or black and white. We are who we are.
This. Exactly this. There are so many queer individuals, yet so few words. Labels are umbrellas. While a lot of people may stand under the same umbrella, not two people are standing at the same exact place, some are closer, others are further apart. I've been jokingly calling myself "administratively gay" for a few years now lmao. Cause I'm in this weird space between bi and gay, but gay suits me better. Labels are a description, not a set of rules I'm glad you've found a label that feels "right-ish". Identifying what you're feeling is an important step towards sharing your experience with other people who feel similar.
Glad you found a label you like, that works for you. Even though there's no data whatsoever that suggests there's any discordant separation between romantic and sexual orientations, I think you are on to something: A very large percentage of gay men have wonderful, close connections with women. (Think Kurt from Glee for a stereotypical representation of this.) And "romantic orientation" is really just a trendy word for a much older concept that's been around for, oh, at least a few hundred years: emotionally intimate friendship. So I think what you are describing puts you in a category with the majority of gay men that have many close female friends. They'are absolutely homosexual... and they also have wonderful, close, emotionally intimate connections with women. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Thanks everyone for your answer ! Chip, I understand what you’re talking about but I know this isn’t how I feel. First of all because I’m a woman x) I have really close friend (male and female) I would bury a body without hesitation for them but I’ll never date them. And I have romantic crush on guy before but I wasn’t good friends with them. It’s different from friendship for me.
You are not alone. I always identified as bisexual until recently. Bi never felt totally right or totally wrong. Identifying as gay feels more right but I'm not always 100% sure either. Pansexual could possibly be another option for me. It's like there are almost too many labels, thus the true reason it can be so confusing. haha. Go with what feels right and don't feel bad if you need to change it as you learn more about your authentic self.
